Early on in my motherhood I adopted a motto:
Rhythms not routines.
To me this simply meant that I wanted a predictable flow to my days (some stability), but that I didn’t want to be disappointed if things didn’t go exactly how I planned (which was often). I’m an all or nothing girl by nature, and when I set my mind on something, it’s sometimes hard for me to pivot.
Having a rhythms not routines mentality is my way of keeping my expectations in check. And with four kiddos, that’s a necessity.
Rhythms are an amazing tool if you are craving more stability (and, hence, calmness) in your motherhood. If you want a predictable flow without the disappointment of your daily plans being constantly upended.
Here are six daily rhythms that I’ve established in my own life:
One load, one space
Every day I set an intention to do one load of laundry to completion and tidy one space. The space can be anything from a single drawer to an entire room. But I choose one space and focus in. I also enlist my children to help with the laundry. They will switch it over if I need them to or pull it out and sort it. I don’t fold their clothes. They grab their pile and put it in their drawers and I don’t worry about it beyond that. Every once in a while I go through their drawers, but that’s another blog post.
Nowadays I’ve added a little more structure to this rhythm by assigning some spaces to certain days. I didn’t attempt this until my youngest was a little older and sleeping through the night. Example: Mondays I clean my bathroom and Wednesday I wash our sheets and clean our bedroom.
Quiet time
Nearly every day we observe what I call “quiet time.” For my littlest, this still means nap time. Well, it can mean nap time for anyone who needs one, ha. Some days I will sneak in a nap. But, in general, it means we all find something quiet to do in separate places so we get a little break in the middle of the day.
I have found that this rhythm saves my sanity. I am an introvert so having a little break in the middle of the day helps me catch my breath and finish the day well. This is a non-negotiable for us most days.
Mama Morning Time
This rhythm has ebbed and flowed over the years. It’s highly dependent on what season of life we are in. Right now, my youngest is three years old so I have more time freedom than I did when he was tiny. He sleeps through the night now (and so do I!), so I’m able to have a more consistent bedtime and awake time.
Right now I wake up around 6:30am, I do my skincare routine, I sip some bone broth, I have my quiet time, I do a little work/writing, get dressed for my morning walk and then greet my kiddos and start our day. This all takes me about an hour and a half. Which feels like a straight up luxury compared to baby days.
You can take a few elements from this rhythm and apply them wherever you find yourself today, mama. When I had a tiny one, I would do a couple minutes of gua sha or set up a warm drink station in my room so I could sip while the baby nursed (er, sipped, too, ha). You could read a page of a good book or do some stretches while your toddler plays in the bath (done that hundreds of times).
The point is to have some sort of rhythm where you start the day by caring for yourself. It sets the tone.
Cleaning Blitz
This rhythm is a whole family affair around here. We usually do this on the weekends. Everybody has a cleaning task and we get to work for about an hour. My oldest vacuums, my second mops, my third wipes the base boards and my youngest helps pick up toys or anything on the ground. I do the dishes and clean up the kitchen and any other spaces that need it and my husband takes the upstairs. We all work together and, once a week, the house is clean and tidy all at one time.
We tidy throughout the week, of course, but this rhythm gives us that once-all-over satisfaction. It also gives the kiddos a chance to pitch in and work together as a team. It’s amazing what we can get done in a relatively short period of time when we all help.
Screen Free Weekdays
Depending heavily on the season of life we’re in, we try to keep weekdays screen free. I’ve found that screens really disrupt the flow of our creativity and imagination and overall ability to really “settle into” projects.
Keeping screens to weekends also makes the weekends feel more special. The kiddos like to wake up before us, grab a snack and go upstairs to watch cartoons. We enjoy the slower (quieter) start to the morning and they enjoy a special treat of screens.
Of course, this highly depends on the season of life we’re in. If there is sickness or we’re in the newborn season or my husband has to work late hours, then things shift as they need to. But, overall, we’ve found this rhythm to be very freeing and life giving.
Bedtime Reading
Nearly every evening we read aloud to the kiddos before bed. We all gather in the living room, the kids play and we read through whatever book we’re working on.
The last couple of months my husband has taken over reading out loud which has been a nice break for me since I homeschool during the day. We’ve read Beatrice Potter, Pilgrims Progress, the Chronicles of Narnia and now we’re working through the The Hobbit.
This is a fun rhythm that helps everyone wind down. It signals bedtime is coming and it also gives us a chance to hear some amazing, classic stories. I like to turn the lights lower and give the kids opportunity to snuggle up if they like. Bonus points: I rub this magnesium lotion into their legs while my husband reads. Makes putting them to bed even easier. And what parent can’t use some more ease at bedtime?
What are your daily essentials for a calm home? Do you utilize rhythms? I’d love to hear in the comments!
If you’d like more in the rhythms department, you can grab my free rhythms guide here.