Category: Postpartum

Practical Ways to Care for Yourself During Postpartum

Listen to the companion podcast episodes HERE.

It’s my hope that this post will serve as a guide to caring for yourself during early postpartum and beyond.

I hope that it will help you or a mama you know reclaim this precious season and take the time to recover, heal and adjust.

I hope that it will make your entrance into motherhood (whether it’s the first or seventh time) a sacred time of true soul, mind and body self-care.

My Postpartum Experiences

I’ve had three very different birth experiences so far.

My first was a homebirth that ended in a transfer to the hospital. My second was at a birth center. And my third was a home birth/water birth that was absolutely amazing.

Just as I’ve had three different birth experiences, I’ve also had three different postpartum experiences. I don’t expect the fourth (coming soon!) to be any different.

Unlike birth plans that may have to be completely thrown out the window, I believe we have a little more control over our postpartum experience. A little thought and preparation can go a long way in amplifying our recovery, healing and adjustment. Each of my postpartum experiences have gotten progressively better as I’ve learned better how to care for myself in that precious season.

Observing and honoring early postpartum and the 4th Trimester (those first 12 weeks) is so very important. Yet, it’s something we woefully neglect as a society. So many other cultures observe this beautiful season, but in the Western world we seem to have forgotten about supporting the mother through this vulnerable time of recovering, healing and adjustment.

The baby gets so much focus, care and attention after birth. That’s as it should be. But I know from personal experience I put exponentially much more time and thought and money into prepping for my firstborn…and I hardly even considered what I would need for recovery, healing and adjusting during the postpartum season.

I rushed into motherhood like I had to prove that I was “okay,” that I could handle it.

Like staying in bed with my new baby to recover, heal and adjust was a sign of weakness.

Like pushing myself too far, too fast was a sign of strength and capability.

But it wasn’t. All the lies I believed about “keeping up” and getting back in shape and returning to normal were detrimental to my soul, mind and body as a new mother.

It’s my hope we can rediscover the beauty of the postpartum season. To take that time not only to bond with our baby and learn how to care for a new precious life, but also to care for ourselves in deep and needed ways that will pave the way for a smoother transition into a new season.

Specific Ways I’m Preparing for Early Postpartum

First, I’m going to be sharing what I am doing to prepare for postpartum this fourth time. I’ll be sharing many resources and tips that I’ve discovered through my first three experiences.

Most of what I will share are my tried and trues. Some are brand-new to me. With each baby I up my postpartum game because I learn something new each time.

Here are some specific ways I’m preparing for postpartum:

Pre-Gaming the Self-Care

Before my third baby I saw another mama share about how she layered on self-care during the last few weeks before baby. I LOVED that idea. Those final weeks can feel so long and uncomfortable. I determined that I was going to make the most of them, too.

Here are some ways I like to pre-game my self-care:

  • Go get or give myself a mani/pedi
  • Get out alone
  • Nap as much as possible
  • Schedule mama dates with a couple good friends
  • Take long baths
  • Get a pre-natal massage and/or go to the chiro

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive. Just those little extras that will be difficult to do once a newborn arrives.

Cozi-fying our bedroom

I’m creating a tea/coffee/snack station out of a coffee table we have in our room. You could set up a simple bar cart or even use a dresser for this. I’m getting clear trays to protect surfaces and keep everything organized. I’m planning to have a French press, electric kettle and frother. I have baskets for my teas, coffee, drink ingredients and nutrient dense snacks.

A sweet friend gifted me a small refrigerator she no longer needed and I’ve been doing a happy dance ever since. It’s going to be in our bedroom to the left of the coffee table. I’ll stock creamer, Daydream Dessert, special drinks, quick snacks, and any tonics and refrigerated supplements in there for easy access. Have I mentioned how excited I am for this!?

We replaced old, leaky shower heads, a broken vent/fan and I got a new, cozy bath rug.

I’m getting a tray for my bedside table for the daily re-fuels of healing drinks, foods, supplements, etc.

I got an under the bed wire basket to keep all the baby things close at hand. I plan to use our bed as the changing station so that I don’t have to go anywhere.

I got a small basket for nursing supplies to keep beside my bed and one for the back of the toilet to keep all my immediate postpartum supplies.

We’re moving the TV into our room, what can I say. Watching HGTV and Food Network PLUS all the Christmas movies during those long newborn nursing sessions sounds amazing.

Setting Up Help Where I Need It

My mom, bless her and thank the Lord for her, comes for a few weeks when I have my babies. It’s amazing and I will be forever grateful for the HUGE part she’s played in my postpartum recoveries. If you don’t have a close family member who is able to come, definitely check into hiring a postpartum doula. I realize this is an extra expense, but even if you only have that one-on-one help for the first couple of weeks, it will make an immense difference.

I have asked our babysitters to come once a week for an afternoon for the foreseeable future. I might double that after the holidays and my mom is gone and my husband is back at work. I plan to use this time to nap with baby, sneak in a bath or long shower, basically for #soulmindbodyselfcare.

I’ve found a house cleaning company and plan to have them come at least once a month, possibly more for a little while. They’ve already done a deep clean and it was the first time my house has been clean all at once in…forever. It was so nice. I rest best in tidy, calm surroundings. Since I know this about myself (and know that I will otherwise be tempted to be cleaning when I should be resting), this is a needed act of self-care.

I’m setting up a few meal delivery services (and getting a deep freezer for the garage). I like Hungry Root and I’m going to try Daily Harvest and Splendid Spoon. None of these are sponsored. And I’ll let you know how I like them after I’ve tried them this time. I’m thrilled to have options for clean, healthy, healing foods that will be quick to prepare, especially once I’m flying solo during the days.

I have all my essentials on subscription so that they come right to my door. Then I don’t have to remember to order something I need/use regularly in those blurry newborn days. This includes: diapers/wipes, household supplies, needed supplements, our CSA box, etc.

Taking a Baby Sleep Course

My first baby was an average sleeper. My second was not a sleeper unless she was attached to me. My third was a total dream baby/fluke, the best sleeper ever and I am spoiled. I’m not expecting a repeat, ha, so I’m preparing by taking a baby sleep course.

I’ve never been a proponent of sleep training. I like to have my babies with me for the first six months at least and then in our room (or large walk-in closet) for as long as needed. I also don’t want to jeopardize my milk supply by night weaning early.

So, I’m currently working my way through Taking Cara Babies First Five Months Bundle. So far it seems to be a very gentle approach and breast-feeding friendly. So reassuring and easy to follow while also opening my eyes to some missteps I made with my second born who did not want to sleep unless attached to me.

Whatever kind of sleeper this fourth babe is, I will feel a lot more at ease knowing I have a ton of sleep tools to employ if/when needed. I’ll let you know how it goes after I’ve had ample time to apply what I’m learning.

Planning to Take the Full 4th Trimester Off

This is so, so important. Our society has led us to believe that postpartum is just the first 6 weeks post-baby.

Nope.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Certainly those first six weeks are integral, but observing the full 4th Trimester (those first 12 weeks) is key to long term recovery, healing and adjustment as mothers. And it shouldn’t end there. My mom has always said, it took 9 months to grow the baby, give yourself at least 9 months to recover, heal and adjust. Amen! And, personally, I always start feeling more like myself closer to the 12-16 month mark.

I take the full 4th Trimester off by:

Not putting any pressure on myself to work out or “get my body back,” even once I’m technically cleared to do so. I do TVA/deep core breathing exercises, walks and maybe some gentle stretching. That’s it. Even beyond those 12 weeks, I really listen to my body. Intense work outs right out of the gate can really tax the adrenals, especially if you haven’t replenished your stores, balanced your hormones and if you’re not getting adequate restorative sleep.

Not planning anything. Seriously. I don’t plan anything. Especially for the first month, but even the second two months, I don’t schedule regular events or play dates or anything that would take us out of the house unless we feel up to it. The big idea is: nothing on the calendar or my to do list beyond taking care of myself and my babies for those first 12 weeks.

I’m going to be pulling back here and on Instagram and the podcast and my email list. Basically taking maternity leave, but coming and going as I feel up to it. I don’t have any hard and fast goals. No pressure to show up or produce. I love what I share through Soul Mind Body Selfcare, it’s part of who I am, but I really want to take the 4th Trimester to tune in, do some learning (courses and books, etc), rest my mind and allow my inspiration to be refreshed.

Also, a little note: once postpartum, always postpartum. We can’t really put a time frame on postpartum recovery. If you didn’t have a good postpartum season with your baby(ies), whether it was a year ago or ten years ago – it’s not too late! It’s never too late to start caring for yourself. Start now, start today with your recovery, healing and adjusting. You can still apply many of the things I’m sharing in this article. At some point, I will also be talking about what I do later in the postpartum to continue the wave of recovery, healing and adjusting.

Specific Items I’m Prepping + Stocking for Postpartum

What I’m Prepping + Stocking for Right After Birth + Early Postpartum

  • A first meal. Whether it’s in the crockpot or freezer so it can be quickly warmed, I love to have something that is protein and carb heavy. My last two babies I’ve had a lasagna/pasta dish as my first meal and it just tasted so good. My first baby I had saltine crackers because the hospital cafeteria wasn’t open at 2am. Bleh.
  • After Ease by WishGarden for after birth pains (mine have gotten worse with each baby).
  • Arnica Montana 30x pellets and cream. For pain relief, sore muscles (bruised tailbone, anyone???) post birth.
  • Depends for the first several days and then comfy “grandma” underwear with every size pad (I like the brand Rael) for after that.
  • Several sets of cozy, nursing friendly pajamas and a kimono/robe.
  • Lots of quick grab, high quality snacks. I’m thinking: Perfect Bars, protein balls, macadamia nuts, dried fruit, etc.
  • Tucks pads for swelling and hemorrhoids. I place these on top of my pad and just replace as needed. I prefer this and perineal spray to “padsicles.”
  • Large water bottle to stay hydrated (I love my 40oz hydroflask) and my sole water to boost electrolytes and minerals.
  • A good, non-toxic heat pack for after birth pains (I love mine from Handmade Heat).
  • Earth Mama Herbal sitz bath. I have an actual sitz bath for my toilet, but you can also sit in a shallow tub of water or add a larger amount of herbs if you prefer a full soak. Side note: this is also lovely for mama/baby bonding and (clear with your provider), but I soak with my babies even before their umbilical cord stump falls off, the herbs are so healing and soothing.
  • Earth Mama perineal spray. I swear by this stuff. I get 2-3 bottles. It’s so healing without any yucky chemicals.
  • Gaia Herbs natural laxative. Trying this out this time. I wanted something natural and gentle, but I definitely need laxative help in those first few weeks.

Items I’m Stocking Specifically for Breastfeeding:

  • A latch assist – new to me – and I’m actually using this now to prepare. My midwife said it’s best to start using it around 33-34 weeks so it does take a little forethought.
  • Nipple shield for the first week or so, until we establish a solid latch.
  • Medela Breast shells to keep the bra pads from sticking and allow the air to circulate around the nipple between feedings – new to me but I’m willing to try anything that makes those first weeks easier.
  • La Vie Lactation Massager for plugged ducts. Also new to me, but I had the worst time with plugged ducts with my last baby. I’m going to be addressing that in other ways this time as well, but want to have this on hand, too.
  • Haakaa silicone manual breast pump for catching let downs and middle of the night pump seshs in those early weeks when my milk comes in. A few notes: I have always used the Medela Harmony Manual Breast Pump and really like it. I’m intrigued by the Haakaa because it has less parts to keep clean and uses suction which will be amazing if it actually works for me. I’ve never used an electric pump. I don’t try to build a stash. I’ll maybe end up with 6-8 bags of milk in the freezer from those first weeks while my milk is regulating. I keep those on hand for when the kids or my husband want to help feed the baby or if I’m out a bit past nursing time at some point in those first months. But I find it’s easier to simply nurse and not worry about pumping or building a stash. I know not every mama can take that approach, but that’s been my story.
  • I make a simple saline soak to soothe cracked or irritated nipples. I’ve used this method the last two babies and it really works to heal up nipples quickly.
  • Lasinoh bra pads and some washable ones a friend gifted me.
  • Bamboobies Soothing Nursing Pillows for engorgement or any kind of discomfort.
  • Wild Carrot calendula nipple whip. Healing and soothing between nursing sessions.

What Herbs/Supplements/Foods/Drinks I’m Stocking for Postpartum:

Tonics/Teas/Herbs:

Loose leaf teas – Stinging Nettle Leaf, Red Raspberry Leaf, Dandelion Root and Lemon Balm. I love Mountain Rose Herbs to purchase these.

Milk Moon – I’m getting their postpartum restorative tonic

I will continue taking an adrenal tonic my midwife has give me, herbs to support my varicose veins (thankfully they begin to clear up in those early weeks!) and keep my homemade elderberry and echinacea tincture close at hand to keep my immune system strong.

Supplements:

ProgestPure – I was taking this natural progesterone supplement when I got pregnant and have been taking it through out my pregnancy. My cycle always returns ridiculously early, like 2-3 months pp, even though I nurse on demand. My midwife said that can sometimes be caused by low progesterone, so this time I’m going to be supplementing.

Quicksilver Methylated Liquid B complex – I am most excited about this one (if you can be excited about a supplement, ha) because I’ve never taken a B Complex during postpartum. I am so curious to see if it helps with low energy as well as postpartum hair loss.

Postnatal liquid multi from MaryRuth Organics

Postnatal probiotic from MaryRuth Organics

Grass-fed beef liver capsules, so amazing for boosting iron and B12 and supporting energy levels and overall well being.

Of course, I’ll also have my wellness arsenal stocked, too. Especially since this early postpartum season will be in the colder months.

Foods:

High quality bone broth for sipping and soup-making
Organic, local raw dairy – milk, cream, yogurt, kefir, etc
Citrus anything and everything
Root veggies and especially beets (TMI but they help me go!)
Ginger, turmeric, garlic
Day Dream Desserts

Drinks:

Ingredients for smoothies (drinking at room temp to keep my body warm to promote healthy circulation and healing)
Golden Milk paste for healing golden milk lattes
Foursigmatic hot cocoa with reishi
Live kombucha soda for that fiz with probiotics

Extra Resources + Tips for Postpartum:

Recovery, Healing and Adjusting:

Resources:

Postnatal Depletion Cure
The First 40 Days
The 4th Trimester

Tips:

Prepare as much beforehand as you possibly can. A good postpartum season isn’t going to just happen, you have to plan for it. BUT. If you are reading this while postpartum and feeling discouraged, don’t be! Start right where you are with what you have. Identify your top three needs and brainstorm with your husband how you can practically meet those needs ASAP.

Set clear boundaries with family/friends who might want to visit. Designate a gate keeper at the hospital and/or at home. Put a sign on the front door saying “Mama and baby are resting, thanks for stopping by, we will be in touch soon,” or something to that affect. Communicate your desires clearly with your husband and anyone else who will be caring for you. Decide how much time you need undisturbed (one day? one week? one month?) If people want to bring food or gifts, tell them thank you and to please leave it on the door step unless you are up for visiting. If people do come in for a visit, have a list of things that need to be done so that when they ask how they can help, you don’t have to think. Above all, do what you need to do in order to prioritize your recovery and bonding with baby. Be kind but firm. Don’t be afraid to say no. You don’t owe anyone anything.

A few more…

  • Have a plan to focus on replenishing nutrients, balancing hormones and adequately support your adrenals.
  • Keep the lymphatic and detox systems moving/working with: castor oil packs, dry brushing, acupuncture, sauna, chiro, massage, etc. Have care providers and contact info ready to go and appointments established/scheduled if you are able.
  • Nancy Anderson’s Ab Rehab and TVA breathing exercises. See a pelvic floor specialist if you have persistent issues. Better to take care of things early on, but even years postpartum you can heal!

Breastfeeding:

Resources:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
Guide to Breastfeeding (and any videos by Dr. Jack Newman on YouTube)
La Leche League
KellyMom.com

Tips:

Even after nursing babies for 60 months collectively (WHAT?!), I still feel like a novice. Especially when it comes to nursing newborns. I like to say, I’m great at nursing toddlers, but I suck at nursing newborns. Ha. When they’re totally dependent, don’t know what the heck they’re doing (feeling the same, babes, feeling the same), need you to support their body completely while you’re sleep deprived and exhausted… It’s just a lot.

So, my #1 tip would be to be prepared and have plenty of support. Gather all your resources, stock all your supplies and line up any help you might need. Breastfeeding is natural, but it might not come naturally. It will probably take several weeks of adjustment (especially if it’s your first) and a whole lot of perseverance, hard work and dedication. It’s both the hardest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever done apart from giving birth and raising my kiddos.

Bonus tips:

Every time we have a baby, I put together what I call the big sister/big brother bag for the older sibling(s). We pull it out after the baby is born and tell them it’s our celebration of baby arriving. It makes them feel special and thought of and makes baby’s arrival fun. It helps ease the transition a little. This time I think we’re also going to get balloons and cupcakes to really do it up. Make it a birth-day party.

I put items in the bag that will help entertain the kiddos while I recover. This time I’m putting in a ton of new Christmas books, their Christmas pajamas, a washable coloring mat from The Modern Cloth with washable markers, Christmas mugs, new mini ornaments so they can decorate their tree, etc.

I like to have any info for newborn care (even after three babies, each newborn season always feels like the first time) and any appointments that need to be scheduled for me or the baby in those early weeks ready to go. It’s hard to make decisions in those early days/weeks when you’re sleep deprived. I don’t want to have to remember what to do if my baby is crying and won’t stop or who I need to call to schedule that first chiro apt, etc. I keep everything in a folder for easy access and stock any homeopathies or other remedies I might need.

Listen to the companion podcast episodes HERE.

Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. Never fear! One breath, one step, one day at a time.

For more self-care goodness, join my email list. Check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

My Self-Care Journey + Four Big Lessons I’ve Learned

Listen to the companion podcast episode HERE.

We all begin our self-care journey somewhere. It’s like a lot of things in life: you might not recognize where you began – what paradigm shift or pivotal moment brought you to the starting line. But years down the road you’ll look back and go “ahhhh, that was it. The beginning.”

That was certainly true for me. I didn’t even know I was on a self-care journey until I was five years in. Looking back I can clearly see each paradigm shift.

I’d love to take you along on my journey. I want to start by defining self-care. I’m passionate about making the term self-care accessible and applicable for every mama, everywhere. For the purposes of Soul Mind Body Selfcare, here’s our working definition:

Let’s start at the beginning…

Paradigm Shift #1: The Beginning

Me with my first son. After a very long labor + traumatic birth. So in love but completely + totally overwhelmed in every way.

I didn’t know anything about self-care until after I had my first son in 2013. I had come off several stressful years in my late teens and early twenties, earning my bachelors, working two jobs, putting myself through an intense master program, getting married and having a baby in quick succession. It was a lot of stress (even though a lot of it was obviously good!) and not a lot of recovery time. I remember feeling like I was getting sick one fall while I was deep in the trenches of earning my masters. I told myself I didn’t have time and I just kept pushing forward. That’s just one example of many.

Add to that: I didn’t know how to care for myself even if I’d wanted to. Period. I didn’t know what that looked like. I treated my soul, mind and body like a machine: they did what I told it to and that meant I never really stopped.

Even after my son was born, I didn’t stop. I was up and around just a couple days after a very long, intense and traumatic birth. The midwife was horrified. I remember going to Target, my newborn in a moby wrap, way too soon because I just thought that’s what I was supposed to do. Get back to life, get back to normal.

Oh, man. I could write a book, just on that. How as a society we have lost the beautiful, vulnerable, necessary healing time that is postpartum. I had no clue. No clue what a healing postpartum season looked like. No clue that there was no getting back to my old “normal.” No clue that I had nothing to prove, no one to impress, by pushing myself too hard, too fast.

In fact, it wasn’t until I was around 15 months postpartum that everything began to catch up with me. I was still breastfeeding, had suffered an early miscarriage and my husband was away for six months going through training for a new job that would move us to the other side of the country.

It slowly starting dawning on me that: caring for my baby was only part of the motherhood equation; the other part was learning how to care for myself as well.

This was my first big, paradigm shift. The beginning of my self-care journey. I wasn’t well physically, emotionally or mentally. Our of sheer necessity, I found myself at a naturopath, trying to figure out why I felt like I was falling apart. During the two hour intake session, I ended up sharing things I’d never shared with anyone. I realized then I probably should have been in therapy long before. It was the beginning for me.

Paradigm Shift #2: A Slow Awakening

Me with my daughter. After a very emotionally charged labor and beautiful, birth center birth. I was exhausted on every level. Our postpartum season was good but way too short.

After seeing that first naturopath, I took baby steps towards addressing some physical issues I was experiencing. Skin issues, hair loss, inability to concentrate, wired but tired, prone to depression…so many things pointed to the fact my adrenals were shot. What I couldn’t know at the time was that this was only the tip of the iceberg.

I did start to feel some micro improvements, but I still didn’t have any clue what self-care was or the depth to which I needed it. I did what I could with the knowledge I had at the time. Which is all anyone can do, which is why this is called a journey.

Fast forward to six months postpartum with my daughter at the beginning of 2016. I had been through a super stressful year prior. We had moved across country for my husband’s new job, away from family. We had been through house hunting, found a place and had been working non-stop to fix it up. All while my husband worked 12 hour days and I managed the renovations. Add to that: pregnancy, wrangling a toddler, an emotionally intense delivery, extended family issues…

That time still blurs together. I was overwhelmed, stressed, not sleeping, and I still hadn’t learned what I needed to thrive, how to meet my own needs or how to ask for help. Before I had become pregnant with my daughter, I had been writing my heart out, building a blog, and an email list and I literally hit “delete” on all of it. Just like I had hit delete on all the parts of life that made me…well, me.

I hit rock bottom. I found myself at my parents for a few weeks and, for the first time, I was able to rest, to sit back while my children were cared for by others and actually see them, see myself, have space to think. That’s when I realized again that I needed help.

I found a naturopath in our new area and dove deeper into functional medicine. I still went into my first appointment with a shotgun approach, not really knowing what to ask for or what was priority. Once again I took baby steps towards caring for my physical body. I was diagnosed with candida and got on a regime to treat that. I did a Whole 30 and learned so much about eating whole foods, reading labels and how to cook a lot more things from scratch. Through that whole process I discovered my body [and my skin! It completely cleared up] did so much better without conventional dairy.

Addressing the physical was good. It brought me to a place where I could actually start thinking about what I required to thrive. How I should care for myself. What I needed most. It helped clear some of the brain fog and the nagging physical symptoms that distracted me from working on deeper issues.

The clearer mind brought me to counseling and starting to do the hard work of setting healthy boundaries. I am not by nature a strong willed person, but I became strong willed when it came to my own self-care. I learned the importance of saying no, of prioritizing myself and my family over what others thought or wanted. I realized I had to stop playing the martyr. No one could read my mind. I had to get to know myself better, understand what made me thrive, and learn to meet those needs and how to communicate them. I had to take responsibility for caring for myself.

I began practicing yoga and I fell in love with how it married movement and breath and brought restoration to not just my physical health, but my my mental health as well. I’ve been practicing yoga for almost five years now and nothing helps me feel more at home in my body or my mind faster.

Around the same time I started yoga, I embarked on a mission to not just organize our home, but completely declutter it. Get rid of everything that we didn’t love or use. Of course, my mission wasn’t quite that clear at first. I just knew that too much stuff overwhelmed me and I was tired of trying to organize it only to turn around and find it a jumbled mess two minutes later. So I started decluttering, space by space. Month by month. It’s been a journey in and of it’s self. A long learning process. Like peeling away the layers of an onion. But, truly, decluttering our home, our schedule, my expectations, my brain, everything has been a huge game changer in my self-care journey.

Paradigm Shift #3: Starting to Share My Journey

Me with my third baby, our second boy. Having him felt like coming home. He brought healing that I didn’t know I needed, on levels I didn’t know existed.

The spring my third baby was born was one of the most beautiful seasons of our life for so many reasons. We had just finished a long, arduous process of selling our house, moving to a new town, living in a rental paying double payments, battling lots of sickness (I was sick for two solid weeks before my son was born, coughing until my ribs ached, sleeping sitting straight up in bed at 9 months pregnant, ha).

My son was born, my first successful home waterbirth. It was quick and intense and beautiful. He was perfect and so was our postpartum experience thanks to all the many lessons I had learned and my mom and my husband caring for me, the kids and the house so seamlessly. I spent the first two weeks in bed with my baby and gave myself a full 12 weeks before I started any exercise beyond walking. I let my body heal and didn’t try to rush. It felt so freeing. We finally sold our house and found a new house. The cherry on top was that the baby was our best sleeper yet. It all felt like such a gift.

When my third was about nine months old, I started intentionally sharing my self-care journey on Instagram. The more I shared, the more I heard from other mamas how desperately they craved self-care but didn’t know what it looked like or how to implement it. So, I kept sharing everything I had learned and was learning and one day Soul Mind Body Selfcare was born. A few months later I started this blog so I could have a place to write that gave me more space than an Instagram caption. I’ve slowly, steadily grown my mama tribe and hope to continue growing.

Paradigm Shift #4: Self-Care Isn’t Just the Feel Good Stuff

Nursing my sweet third born for the last time. I was about to start some intensive protocols to heal my gut. I also knew deep down my body needed a good, long break.

When my third baby was about a year old, I found a local functional medicine doctor to get a proactive, head start on caring for myself postpartum. This time when I went in for my first appointment, I didn’t shotgun; I knew the questions I wanted to ask, the tests I wanted done, and where exactly I wanted to prioritize.

A series of comprehensive tests revealed/confirmed I had borderline Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, multiple food sensitivities, leaky gut and two different gut infections. I went on a strict elimination diet for two months, cutting out several reactive foods including coffee, alcohol, eggs, yeast and gluten. I followed several different protocols to heal my leaky gut, detox my liver, support my adrenals and get rid of my gut infections. In order to do the protocols for the gut infections, I needed to wean my third baby at 16 months. Which isn’t early by any means, but he could have kept going and it made me sad not to be able to nurse him for as long as he wanted.

But sometimes self-care looks like sacrifice. During the fall and winter of 2019 I really ramped up my self-care on all the levels. I started meditating, dry brushing, visiting the sauna, using a castor oil pack, utilizing adaptogens, practicing moon cycling, getting massage, taking regular detox baths. You name it, I was doing it. We started trying for another baby and I wanted to be as healthy and strong as possible.

Of course, in January I (along with all the family) got the horrible flu that was going around. It set me way back. I didn’t feel like myself for weeks and was still dealing with lung congestion, low energy and relapses a month later. A month after that I experienced hair loss due to the stress of the sickness. Which is just amazing…I don’t even want to know what it would have done to my body if I hadn’t already been so focused on my health and self-care on every level.

A few weeks after that, in mid-March of 2020, we found out I was expecting. Not exactly how I’d hoped to step into a new pregnancy. And it so happened to be the same week of the full moon, day light savings and when all of the Covid-19 stuff hit the fan. It was an intense time on a spiritual, emotional and mental level…let alone on the physical level.

All the lessons I had learned over the previous 8 years came full circle. It felt a little like ground zero once again. Where the rubber meets the road. Almost like a new beginning of some sort. I’m still navigating it. Because this is a journey. There’s no finish line in this life and that’s okay. The beauty and growth and transformation is in the process.

Don’t forget that, mama.

Listen to the companion podcast episode HERE.

To recap, here are four big lessons I’ve learned so far on my self-care journey:

Big Lesson #1:

Addressing the physical is so necessary and might need to happen first before you can think about anything else. Healing physically will bring you to a place where you can actually start thinking about healing emotionally and mentally and deciding exactly what you require to thrive.

Big Lesson #2:

Setting boundaries is key. You have to learn to say no. You have to learn to make yourself and your immediate family priority over anything and everyone else.

Big Lesson #3:

On that note: stop playing the martyr. No one can read your mind. No one is going to magically meet your needs without you asking. Ultimately you have to take responsibility for caring for yourself. Determine what you need to thrive and then meet your needs or communicate them clearly to those who can.

Big Lesson #4:

One step at a time. One day at a time. Nothing worthwhile happens over night. It’s called a journey for a reason. There’s no medal for the first person across the finish line because there is no finish line. At least not in this world. What matters is that you are learning and growing and moving forward one step at a time.

Listen to the companion podcast episode HERE.

Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. Never fear! One breath, one step, one day at a time.

For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram. And if you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same. Check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

How to Find a Doctor Who is Right for You [Making the Most of Your First Appointment + What Tests to Ask for When You Go]

Can we all agree that finding a good doctor – I mean, a really, really good doctor- is not easy? It feels impossible actually. Like finding a needle in a haystack. I want to help ease that pain a little by sharing some of the things I’ve learned over the years. Through trial and error. Blood, sweat and tears. You get the picture.

Let’s dive in…

1.) Word of mouth is so powerful, that’s how I found my current doctor and the doctor before that. Annnnddd…the doctor before that. Ask a friend who shares similar medical approaches as you. Ask a friend of a friend. A word of mouth referral is the best method I’ve found. Never under estimate the power of word of mouth.

2.) That being said, there’s not always the luxury of word of mouth (if you’re new to an area, etc), but we live in the age of the internet. I start by searching for naturopathic or functional medicine doctors in my area. I read through the websites that come up and choose the one that most resonates with me. In other words, I go with my gut. That’s how I found the midwife I used with my third baby and I loved her.

3.) To help narrow the search, I look for a few key things in a potential doctor:

  • A doctor who ascribes to a holistic approach to wellness, not a one size fits all. Because there is no “one size fits all” and anyone who says there is…well, run, sister, run. We are all so unique, it’s going to take more than a standardized scale or range of symptoms to address our overall health. Most of the time there are no quick fixes either, which leads me to the next thing I look for…
  • A doctor who is willing to spend the time to dig deeper and ask pertinent questions. I don’t care who you are, I don’t want to sit in your waiting room for an hour to be rushed in and out of my appointment in ten minutes because that’s “all you have time for.” Nope. Or to be told “there’s a cream for that” when it’s a skin issue I’ve had for years that I’ve tried all.the.things. to cure. Yes, I had a doctor tell me that in the first two minutes I was in his office. I didn’t end up using the cream and discovered months later that I had a sensitivity to conventional dairy. I cut out dairy and my skin cleared up. Go figure.
  • A doctor who doesn’t feel threatened when I bring my own research to the table. Because I do bring my own research. And we should! We need to be prepared and educated when we go to the doctor. We have to be our own advocates and take ownership of our own health.

4.) If you’re going to a doctor and something feels “off”, you feel uncomfortable or you’re not seeing any results after giving it the good old college try, don’t be afraid to walk away. You’re the customer and you don’t owe anyone anything.

Once you’ve found a doctor you’re comfortable with, it’s time to prepare for your first appointment. This is important so that you can get the most out of your precious time (and money!).

Here’s how I prep:

  • I make a note of the top 3-4 health issues I want to resolve. This helps to give some focus to my care so I don’t just shotgun a bunch of symptoms.
  • I also like to do research on how those health issues are typically approached. What treatments and supplements are common, so that I have knowledge of the terms and procedures.
  • I make a note of any supplements I’m taking and protocols I’m following.
  • I write down in detail any questions I have because I often space when on the spot.
  • I also pull out any recent medical paperwork/labs/test results that I feel might be helpful and bring those along.
  • I also try to figure out what my insurance covers and what it doesn’t, so that I’m prepared for any out of pocket expenses. “Try” being the key word… Can I just say how much I hate insurance? Hate is too nice a word. Anyways. Moving on…

Here are the tests I ask for (especially around 12-16 months postpartum):

  • A hormone panel. At the very least, I have my progesterone levels checked. I’ve heard good things about the Dutch Hormone test. I may still have that done in the next couple months if I don’t see some resolution with a few things.
  • Vitamin D levels. Optimal levels should be between 50-80. Here’s a great overview on this topic. It’s good to know where you are because low levels aren’t good and if you’re on the high end you know you can ease up on any supplementing.
  • A full thyroid panel. Ask for: TSH, Free T4, Free T3, Reverse T3, TPO Antibodies, and Anti-TGB Antibodies. Here’s a great article explaining why.
  • Some other things you might consider having checked or tested: your ferritin (iron storage) levels and B12, a GI Map stool test, a food sensitivity test or a hair mineral analysis.

One last note, if you don’t have money in the budget or access to a good doctor or you know the tests you need and you’re in-between doctor visits, I have heard great things about EverlyWell. This is not sponsored in any way and I’ve never personally used the service (but I have family members who have). It might be worth checking out!

I hope this was helpful. Navigating doctors and appointments and tests is hard enough, you shouldn’t have to do it alone! If you have any questions, please leave a comment or shoot me an email.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

P.S. Sign up for the monthly #soulmindbodyselfcare newsletter that’s full of so much more self-care goodness and get my Soul Mind Body Selfcare Guide for FREE with 30 ways to start caring for yourself, right now, today.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor. I don’t have any formal medical training. Please do your own research and don’t just take my word for it.

6 Simple, Grace-Filled Ways to Thrive in the Newborn Season [Plus the Important Thing It Took Me Forever to Learn]

I wish there was a magic answer for this one, but there’s not. My first two newborn seasons were rough for so many reasons. Some reasons were beyond my control, but some weren’t and I just didn’t realize it.

This third newborn season was a dream, both for reasons I didn’t orchestrate (hello, baby who miraculously slept) and also because I had learned what was within my control + took action.

Here are my top tips for surviving the newborn season:


1.] Ask yourself what you need, not what you need to do.

Okay, let’s address the “sleep while the baby sleeps” bit of advice right out of the gate. While I agree that this is ideal, it’s not always possible or practical. And I know from experience that often what I need more than sleep (hard to believe but true) is just some quiet, some space and something to fill my cup.

So, when the baby does sleep ask yourself this magic question: “What do I need right now?” It may be sleep, and, if it is, by all means, sleep, mama. But it may be a walk around the backyard in the sunshine. It may be a tall glass of water and a nutrient dense snack. It may be some gentle stretching or ten minutes reading a book or a nice soak in the tub or twenty minutes doing your hair and makeup. Only you know what you need. Set aside all you need to do and do what YOU need instead.


2.] Give yourself lots and lots [and lots] of margin.

Cut out anything that isn’t absolutely essential. This means everything but feeding, clothing, caring for you and your baby(ies) basic needs. At least for the first twelve weeks. Give yourself that 4th trimester to fully adjust. This means 6 out of 7 days a week you have nothing planned, no where to be at any specific time. Don’t underestimate the importance of this point.

This is not the season for play dates or running multiple errands in a row. It’s not the season for starting a side hustle or taking on more work. Over-scheduling, over-doing, over-reaching will leave you over-whelmed and exhausted, frazzled and under-nourished in all the ways. Margin is key!

3.] Get out alone.

I know this is difficult with a newborn, but it’s so important. Even if it’s only for an hour, make it consistent (i.e. weekly). Schedule it in, treat it like any other appointment. Whether you leave the babies with your spouse for a couple hours on a Saturday or hire someone for a couple hours on a week day morning [or both], make this a non-negotiable.

I made this negotiable for far too long and everyone suffered because of it. The wheels will not come off if you leave for an hour or two. Also? Use this time for you, for #soulmindbodyselfcare, not for running errands or “getting ahead.” You will be refreshed, refocused and ready to jump back in the trenches.

4.] Ask for help. And lots of it.

Seriously. I know everyone talks about this, but the reality is very few people actually do it. But you have to, for your sanity. It took me two kids to figure this out.

READ THIS: asking for help does not mean you aren’t capable or strong or enough. Asking for help simply means you are caring for yourself well. You are human and can’t be all things to all people at all times.

So, delegate, out-source, and ask your spouse to pitch in as much as possible. With grocery shopping, meals, house cleaning, laundry, etc. I loved having 2-3 dinners a week delivered ready-to-eat from Freshly. The rest of our meals were made by others, super simple or take out. Let’s be real. I had our groceries delivered from Instacart (worth any markup). I automated as much as I could: bill pay, subscription services for diapers and coffee and all the things, etc.

As the months pass, you will find your feet more and more, but don’t underestimate the power of asking for help in this newborn season.

5.] Get outside as much as possible.

Fresh air and sunlight are so good for the soul. And usually go a long way in soothing fussy babies and helping busy toddlers get their energy out. Go for a slow walk. Sit on the back porch. Soak up the morning sun with your warm drink of choice. Lay out a picnic blanket and rest with baby. Even if it’s just for short bursts during the day, get outside.

Feel your feet on the ground and the sun on your face. If you live in a colder climate, I feel you. Bundle up, tuck the baby in a carrier, walk around the block. Or just step outside for a few minutes and practice some deep breathing. Any time spent outside is well spent.

Now, are you ready for the super important thing it took me forever to learn?


6.] Limit alcohol, processed sugar/foods and caffeine and you will feel better + have more energy (even if you’re not sleeping well).

Trust me on this one. I fought it for so long. I tried to ease my stress and tiredness with a daily glass of wine, lots of sweets, and SO MUCH caffeine. But it only contributed to my fatigue and brain fog.

I know this tip isn’t sexy, but it’s true. Focus on a high protein/high fiber/high [good] fats breakfast (and meals in general). Eat lots of veggies. Drink lots of water and other liquids that are healing and support your immune system (golden milk lattes, bulletproof teas, bone broth, etc). You will feel better and sleep better (when those blissful moments do come).

I hope these tips are helpful. They are some of the things I wish I’d learned earlier. The newborn season is so short. It’s my hope that by encouraging you to care for yourself well during that season, you will be able to really enjoy it and soak it up before it’s gone.

Above all, know this, mama:

You are doing a hard + beautiful thing and you are doing great.

For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram.

If you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same.

Also, check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Now you can download The Soul Mind Body Selfcare Guide: 30 Ways to Start Caring For Yourself When You Don’t Know Where to Start for FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah