6 Simple, Grace-Filled Ways to Thrive in the Newborn Season [Plus the Important Thing It Took Me Forever to Learn]

I wish there was a magic answer for this one, but there’s not. My first two newborn seasons were rough for so many reasons. Some reasons were beyond my control, but some weren’t and I just didn’t realize it.

This third newborn season was a dream, both for reasons I didn’t orchestrate (hello, baby who miraculously slept) and also because I had learned what was within my control + took action.

Here are my top tips for surviving the newborn season:

1.] Ask yourself what you need, not what you need to do.

Okay, let’s address the “sleep while the baby sleeps” bit of advice right out of the gate. While I agree that this is ideal, it’s not always possible or practical. And I know from experience that often what I need more than sleep (hard to believe but true) is just some quiet, some space and something to fill my cup.

So, when the baby does sleep ask yourself this magic question: “What do I need right now?” It may be sleep, and, if it is, by all means, sleep, mama. But it may be a walk around the backyard in the sunshine. It may be a tall glass of water and a nutrient dense snack. It may be some gentle stretching or ten minutes reading a book or a nice soak in the tub or twenty minutes doing your hair and makeup. Only you know what you need. Set aside all you need to do and do what YOU need instead.

2.] Give yourself lots and lots [and lots] of margin.

Cut out anything that isn’t absolutely essential. This means everything but feeding, clothing, caring for you and your baby(ies) basic needs. At least for the first twelve weeks. Give yourself that 4th trimester to fully adjust. This means 6 out of 7 days a week you have nothing planned, no where to be at any specific time. Don’t underestimate the importance of this point.

This is not the season for play dates or running multiple errands in a row. It’s not the season for starting a side hustle or taking on more work. Over-scheduling, over-doing, over-reaching will leave you over-whelmed and exhausted, frazzled and under-nourished in all the ways. Margin is key!

3.] Get out alone.

I know this is difficult with a newborn, but it’s so important. Even if it’s only for an hour, make it consistent (i.e. weekly). Schedule it in, treat it like any other appointment. Whether you leave the babies with your spouse for a couple hours on a Saturday or hire someone for a couple hours on a week day morning [or both], make this a non-negotiable.

I made this negotiable for far too long and everyone suffered because of it. The wheels will not come off if you leave for an hour or two. Also? Use this time for you, for #soulmindbodyselfcare, not for running errands or “getting ahead.” You will be refreshed, refocused and ready to jump back in the trenches.

4.] Ask for help. And lots of it.

Seriously. I know everyone talks about this, but the reality is very few people actually do it. But you have to, for your sanity. It took me two kids to figure this out.

READ THIS: asking for help does not mean you aren’t capable or strong or enough. Asking for help simply means you are caring for yourself well. You are human and can’t be all things to all people at all times.

So, delegate, out-source, and ask your spouse to pitch in as much as possible. With grocery shopping, meals, house cleaning, laundry, etc. I loved having 2-3 dinners a week delivered ready-to-eat from Freshly. The rest of our meals were made by others, super simple or take out. Let’s be real. I had our groceries delivered from Instacart (worth any markup). I automated as much as I could: bill pay, subscription services for diapers and coffee and all the things, etc.

As the months pass, you will find your feet more and more, but don’t underestimate the power of asking for help in this newborn season.

5.] Get outside as much as possible.

Fresh air and sunlight are so good for the soul. And usually go a long way in soothing fussy babies and helping busy toddlers get their energy out. Go for a slow walk. Sit on the back porch. Soak up the morning sun with your warm drink of choice. Lay out a picnic blanket and rest with baby. Even if it’s just for short bursts during the day, get outside.

Feel your feet on the ground and the sun on your face. If you live in a colder climate, I feel you. Bundle up, tuck the baby in a carrier, walk around the block. Or just step outside for a few minutes and practice some deep breathing. Any time spent outside is well spent.

Now, are you ready for the super important thing it took me forever to learn?

6.] Limit alcohol, processed sugar/foods and caffeine and you will feel better + have more energy (even if you’re not sleeping well).

Trust me on this one. I fought it for so long. I tried to ease my stress and tiredness with a daily glass of wine, lots of sweets, and SO MUCH caffeine. But it only contributed to my fatigue and brain fog.

I know this tip isn’t sexy, but it’s true. Focus on a high protein/high fiber/high [good] fats breakfast (and meals in general). Eat lots of veggies. Drink lots of water and other liquids that are healing and support your immune system (golden milk lattes, bulletproof teas, bone broth, etc). You will feel better and sleep better (when those blissful moments do come).

I hope these tips are helpful. They are some of the things I wish I’d learned earlier. The newborn season is so short. It’s my hope that by encouraging you to care for yourself well during that season, you will be able to really enjoy it and soak it up before it’s gone.

Above all, know this, mama:

You are doing a hard + beautiful thing and you are doing great.

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