rhythms Archives - Soul Mind Body Selfcare

Rhythms not routines. I first started using that phrase when my daughter was a baby. It was my way of reminding myself that I could still establish constants in the midst of a chaotic and unpredictable season. Like Leonardo DiCaprios’ top in “Inception” – rhythms brought me back to reality and grounded me in the present. They still do. Because life will always be chaotic and unpredictable at times.

One of the biggest keys to transformative self-care is establishing rhythms that work for you.

I believe that establishing rhythms that work for you is so important, I’m going to turn it into a little series. This post will be more of a macro view of rhythms (the why and how). And then in subsequent posts, I will dive into the micro view and what they might look like on a daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal basis.

Sneak peek: one of our favorite weekly rhythms these days? When the big kiddos and I have tea time on Tuesdays. We’re working our way through the She Reads Truth Hebrews study for kids. We sip a warm drink, savor a treat and talk. It’s become a special part of our week.

More on that later. First, let’s talk about WHY rhythms are essential to self-care and HOW to create rhythms that work best for you. Hang with me because I also have a free printable for you.

The Why

The dictionary defines a rhythm as: “a strong, regular, repeated pattern of movement or sound.” For our purposes, rhythms are “a strong, regular, repeated pattern of…” #soulmindbodyselfcare. And self-care includes easing the demands of motherhood, the managing of our homes, the caring for ourselves and just life in general.

What I love about rhythms is that they provide a framework, but they’re not ridged or inflexible. I’m a planner who also doesn’t like to feel “stuck,” so rhythms are my happy place. Rhythms are powerful tools for self-care because they can ebb and flow, shift and change as needed. They are a flexible guide that provides structure without suffocating.

The How

Okay, rhythms are helpful and important, but how do you use them in a way that works for you? I’m going to share what our rhythms look like right now and then I’ll share a few steps you can take to establish your own. This is going to be a quick over-view because I plan to go into much more detail in subsequent posts. If you have any questions, drop them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer them!

Daily

I break up our days into five key rhythms:

morning (warm lemon water/slow breakfast/warm drink)
one load/one space (i.e. laundry + cleaning)
learning (examples: morning basket/tea time/adventure)
quiet time (usually 1:30-3:30pm)
evening (examples: unwinding/skincare/brain dump)

These are the rhythms that work for us right now. We follow them even on the weekends, too, although a little more relaxed. But I’ve found that I can’t go two solid days without incorporating them in some way. And when I feel a little lost on a Sunday afternoon, I return to the rhythms. With in an hour, overwhelm is quelled and calm is restored.

Weekly

Our weekly rhythms look like:

Monday – morning basket
Tuesday – tea time
Wednesday – adventure
Thursday – art + read aloud
Friday – free
Saturday – solo time + mama date
Sunday – rest + prep for the week

These weekly rhythms really act as anchors for us. They hold me steady when I start to drift and wonder what the heck I’m doing with my life. Ha. The kids love having some thing to look forward to (tea time is the most talked about around here) and I appreciate the level of consistency these rhythms bring to our days.

Monthly

Because the mama is the heartbeat of the home, our months are heavily influenced by my cycle. They always have been, for better or worse, but this past year I’ve really started to embrace it for the wonderful thing it is. Each month is like a mini year with all four seasons and it really is amazing. I detail out what each season looks like below, but that’s essentially what our months look like, too: winter, spring, summer and autumn. I try to plan our month accordingly, knowing when I am higher energy and when I will need to slow way down.

Also, each month I try to make these 5 grounding actions priority, too:

1.) Two Fridays a month my husband and I have date night, whether we go out or stay in, it gives us a regular chance to catch up, go deeper than we’re able on a regular evening and do something fun together.

3.) I focus on refreshing one space on a budget. This month it was the kiddos bathroom and the half bath. I’m so excited with how they turned out. I do my best to use what we have and only bring in what we need.

4.) I do what I call an “office catch up” a couple times through out the month. This is when I will update the budget, go through any paper work, back up the pictures/videos from my phone, catch up our current photo album and our 1 Second Everyday.

5.) I review my goals for the month weekly, but a couple times a month I sit down to reevaluate and around the last week of the month, I’ll look ahead to the new month and set fresh goals.

Seasonal

Our seasonal rhythms tend to look like this:

Winter – Hibernate.
Rest, stay at home most days, move slow. Lots of reading + snuggles.
Practice restorative self-care: warm drinks, long baths, cozy layers, naps, hearty soups + stews, early bed times.

Spring – Ease out of our cocoon.
Decluttering the house/mind/schedule, planting the garden + spending hours outside each day. Practice reawakening self-care. Yoga outside, laying in the sun, mornings on the front porch, weekly hikes, fresh + simple foods.

Summer – We’re alive! Park dates and hiking/river/day trip/camping adventures. Practice energetic self-care. Soak up all the sun, join the kiddos in the water, quiet times spent laying out + reading, lots of time in nature, evenings on the back porch until the sun sets.

Autumn – Slow down. Reflect + re-set intentions. Tune in, savor, draw in. Decluttering the house/mind/schedule. Practice preparatory self-care. Embrace home, warm drinks, let go, stock up on self-care essentials, get to bed earlier.

Grab my Rhythms Guide here. The first page is a copy of our current rhythms to use as a guide, the second page is a step by step guide to creating rhythms that work for you and the third page is a template you can use to record your own rhythms.

These are rhythms that work for us at this time. They’re an example of how rhythms look when you use them as a tool for self-care. And that’s the thing – you have to establish rhythms that work for you, right where you are. NOT ones that work for your friend or your sister or your mother or anyone else. Not ones that will last forever and ever and never need to change. That’s missing the point.

What works for someone else might not work for you. And what works for you now might not work next month or even next week.

So, how do you establish rhythms that work for you, right now, today? Let’s dive in…

How to Create Your Own Rhythms

Print The Rhythms Guide (these steps are included in the guide). Then grab a notebook and a pen and write down what your ideal day would look like. Don’t over think it. Dream big here. Do list-style, bullet journal-style, any-style. Just get it down on paper.
Repeat step one for your ideal week, month and all four of the seasons. Don’t write down what you think it “should” look like or what it looks like now. Write down what you want it to look like – your ideals, your vision, your dream list, the way they would go if it was your choice.
Step back, review everything you wrote down under each section and realize this, mama: it is your choice. Ultimately, it doesn’t just have to be an ideal or a vision or some far-off dream. What you do, how you spend your days, weeks, months, seasons is YOUR choice. You get to decide. It’s your life.
Add, take-away, scratch out, re-write, get each list where you want it to be for right now. Because things will ebb and flow. They will shift and change. Don’t worry about then, just focus on right now.
Use the third page of The Rhythms Guide to fill in your rhythms. Put it somewhere you will see it every day. Maybe tape it to the inside of a cabinet in your kitchen? Put it by your bedside so you see it first thing in the morning? Review it often, refer to it when you start to feel overwhelmed or off-kilter.
Give the rhythms a week or two, see how they work for you. Tweak and shift where you need to. And don’t be afraid to swap days of the week or move things around as you need. Flow with them, let them show you what needs to come or go.
Repeat these steps as necessary. At the new year, beginning of a new season, after a major transition (i.e. a move, a new baby, etc), on a random Wednesday in November when you realize the current rhythms just aren’t working anymore. Save The Rhythms Guide to re-print whenever you need it.