Goal setting can feel very nebulous. Just like self-care in general, it can feel unreachable, unattainable. But it doesn’t have to be and I hope to change that with this post.
Listen to the companion podcast episodes here and here. It’s a two part series.
I also created a FREE guide just for you, to use in conjunction with this blog post and the podcast episodes.
The first page of the guide is all about getting started. Here’s the thing about getting started with setting attainable goals: it’s not about what others are doing or what you think you SHOULD be doing; it’s about what lights you up, what’s in line with your priorities, what you’re passionate about and what God is calling you to do.
I’ve often set goals that are lofty and amazing and good, but were based on what someone else was doing or what I thought I should be doing. Instead of what lit a fire in MY soul, what MY top priorities were, what MY passions were and what God was calling ME to do.
Those are the questions we need to be asking ourselves in order to set goals we will actually meet. Because when you set goals based on what someone else is doing or what you think you should be doing, very rarely will you end up meeting them. Because the true, powerful form of motivation you need just isn’t there. Your motivation isn’t based on anything sound that’s going to carry you through.
But when you sit down and ask the question: “What lights a fire in MY soul?” The chances of meeting that goal are so much greater. Because your motivation has a sound basis, not superficial.
When you sit down and ask the question: “What are MY priorities in life?” That helps you set goals that actually apply to your life and what matters most to you, what you want to see accomplished, what you want your life to look like. That totally shifts the kinds of goals your going to set.
When you sit down and ask the question: “What am I passionate about?” that automatically rules out so many goals you could set and helps you really dial down on what goals you will actually meet. If you try to set a goal your not passionate about, that’s not going to get you very far. I’m talking about setting goals for this year, for the next five years, ten years…or even this month, this week, this day… you have to be passionate about those goals in order to see follow through.
When you sit down and ask the question: “What is God calling ME to do?” That’s going to look different than what other people are doing or even what you think you SHOULD be doing. When you sit down and ask God what He wants you to do, He shows you what to let go of and what to hold to. That shift brings such illumination and so many open doors.
Side note: I know from personal experience that just because a goal is for me (it lights me up, it’s in line with my priorities, it’s my passion and it’s what God is calling me to do) doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. But God will be with us and help us get from point A to point B. Not by our lofty desires or our failing human motivation.
So, this is when grabbing the guide and printing it out will really help. Take that first page, set aside some quiet time where you can think and pray through those questions. That’s the foundation of successful goal setting, that’s where you’re going to see the needle move.
Page two of the Goals Guide is all about getting specific. It’s great to have long term/big picture goals, but them we really want to zoom in, get detailed, set time frames, etc.
If you’re not specific with your goals, you’re not really going to know how or when you meet them. If they are nebulous to begin with, they are going to be nebulous to end with. I don’t know about you, but I want to know when I’ve accomplished a goal.
The first question to ask (based on the questions from page one above) is: “What are my top three goals?” I’m not saying you can only have three goals in life, but I think three goals is a good place to start if you don’t know where to start.
This is where we start to get specific. Here are the next few questions to ask:
- What can you do in the next 12 months to make those goals a reality?
- How about each month?
- How about each week?
- How about each day?
Again, carve out some quiet time to really sit and pray over your answers.
Breaking down our goals into bite size pieces reduces overwhelm. When we set big goals, but don’t map out the daily/weekly/monthly/yearly steps to reach them, we’re going to be paralyzed. We might have this goal that meets all the criteria on page one, but if we don’t break it down into specific steps we won’t ever reach it.
Here’s an example: my 7 year old learning to read this summer. We set up a reading challenge of our own and his goal was to read 40 books by mid-September. Now, that’s a big goal for anyone, let alone a 7 year old. So, we had to break it down. We determined if he aimed to read 15 books a month for June/July/August, he would more than meet his goal. And if he read a book a day, he’d definitely blow that goal out of the water. That’s just a simple example from our every day life, but as adults we can do the exact same thing. Take our big goals and break them down step by step.
Page 3 of the Guide is all about creating quick wins. I really believe in this concept in many areas of life, but especially in the area of setting goals. If we can create momentum that builds and grows, that momentum will carry us where we want to go.
Here’s the question to ask: “What is something you can do, right now, today that will bring you closer to meeting each of your goals?” Take some time to consider this question. Write down a quick win for each of the three goals you listed on page 2 of the Guide. Then here’s my challenge to you: go and do it. Knock out those quick wins. That will create momentum and momentum is what we need to reach our goals.
Page 4 of the Guide is all about what to do when a goal isn’t working. This has happened to me a lot. I set a goal and somewhere along the way I get off track. It falls to the wayside. Or – and this is why I talked about creating quick wins – I don’t even take the first step to reaching it.
So, if you’ve followed the Guide and a goal still isn’t working, here are some questions to ask to get you back on track:
Have your priorities shifted? If so, how and why? This is an important question because, if your goal is based on a priority you hold and the goal isn’t working anymore, perhaps your priority has shifted some how. Perhaps answering this question will also help you see the goal you set wasn’t connected to a priority you hold in the first place. Either way this question is a win.
Next question: “How can I tweak or update this goal to make it work?” We don’t always want to nix the entire goal. Maybe we can change something (small even) about the goal that will make it applicable again. Maybe the way we set the goal, the perimeters need to be updated.
Next question: “Do I just need to let this goal go?” If you’ve answered the first two questions and the goal still isn’t working, then ask this. Sometimes we just need to let goals go. That’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. There is bravery in admitting when we’ve been heading in the wrong direction and then course correcting instead of stubbornly continuing down the wrong path.
Final question: “If I need to let this goal go, what goal can I replace it with?” Let’s not create a vacuum affect, let’s fill that empty goal slot with a goal that moves our feet in the right direction. This is where I’d encourage you to go back to the first page of the guide and walk through those questions again.
That is The Goals Guide in a nutshell. I really believe this Guide is a simple approach to setting goals you’ll actually reach. These are goal setting principles I’ve applied in my own life, that I’ve actually used and seen be successful.
One final note: just start. Don’t wait for the “perfect time” or the “perfect conditions” because they won’t ever come.
Here’s another example from my every day life: starting my podcast. I got the idea on a road trip in the first quarter of the year and jotted a quick note to look into it. It piqued my interest and seemed like it might be a good fit. I thought it could be something I would enjoy that might also work well to reach my target audience – you, the every day mama who is busy raising her kiddos, running her home, doing her thing and needs to be able to listen/learn on the go. Well, I reached a point in June where I realized: If I don’t just start, I might never start. So I just jumped in. I had no idea what I was doing, but I recorded my first episode and it took off from there.
Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. Never fear! One breath, one step, one day at a time.
Listen to the companion podcast episodes here and here. It’s a two part series.
For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram. And if you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same. Check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.
Let’s care for ourselves,
Hannah