Mama, do not underestimate the power that decluttering has to lighten your physical and mental load.
No matter what your opinion about Marie Kondo or whether or not you think decluttering is for you… I promise it is. It’s for everyone. And, no, you don’t have to fold your underwear a specific way to benefit from letting go of the things that aren’t serving you.
I’m going to walk you through five simple steps that will help you declutter your mind, your to do list and your physical space. We’re going to talk about brain dumps, turning those brain dumps into action steps, tackling those action steps, riding that momentum into our physical spaces and getting rid of the stuff that holds us back. For good.
Here are 5 simple steps to lighten your physical + mental load:
No.1 Do a brain dump.
Grab a blank piece of paper and a pen. Sit down and just start writing. Anything and everything that is on your mind.Catch up on the laundry. Finish the book on my nightstand. I feel super tired. Do some yoga. Schedule hair cuts for the kids. I really want to soak in the tub tonight. Text my friend to see how she’s doing. Clean out the fridge. Just like that. Freestyle. Get it all out. Feel better?
A brain dump always helps me get every thing that’s been swirling around in my mind down on paper. When I see it in black and white, I can determine what I need to do now and what I can do later. What I’m going to say yes to and what I’m going to let go. At the very least, I’ve decluttered my mind. And a decluttered mind is a quieted mind. Which is to say: hallelujah!
No.2 Turn your brain dump into action steps.
Grab a warm drink… Wait, have you snagged my warm drink guide??? If you haven’t, you can grab it now, whip yourself up one of my favorite recipes and then head back here. I’ll wait. No worries.
Okay, now that you have your warm drink in hand, take that piece of paper that you filled with your brain dump and let’s turn it into something actionable. Take a fresh sheet of paper and divide it into three columns: 1.) Do now 2.) Do later 3.) Let it go. Everything you put on your brain dump sheet goes in one of those three columns.
Tip: it’s helpful to cross out items on your brain dump sheet as you transfer them so you can clearly see where you’re at.
Now that you’ve got that done, let’s take a closer look at column no. 1, the “do now” column.
No.3 Set a timer for 30 minutes + tackle your “do now” column.
Take your “do now” column and number it by priority.Then set that timer for 30 minutes and dig into number one. Yes, just 30 minutes. It doesn’t sound like it will be enough time to get anything done, but I promise it is. I’ve found that when I focus – really focus – for even a short burst of time I am so much more productive.
Keep working until the timer has gone off or you’ve completed your list. If you still have items on your list (which you probably will because life), make an appointment with yourself for tomorrow and do the same thing. Thirty minutes, knock it out. Repeat Steps 1-3 as often as needed.
Phew. Now that you’ve lightened your mental load (and perhaps by default your physical load!), we can move on to decluttering your physical space – your home.
No.4 Make a list of all the spaces in your home.
Okay, we’re going to ride all that momentum you’ve built from tackling your mental space, right out into the physical spaces in your home. This is going to happen in stages, in layers, just like peeling an onion. It’s not going to be once and done in a single sweep. It’s going to take time.
What’s important is starting. We’re going to focus on doing one entire sweep of your home. What I’d like you to do now is make a list of all the spaces in your home, room by room. If you have a rogue closet or storage space or cupboard floating around, write that down, too.
Now, you don’t have to do this step, but it’s been helpful for me so I’m going to mention it. Put a mark by the space or spaces that are causing you the most angst right now. Usually for me, those are my laundry/mud room, the art closet and my closet. Narrowing it down will give you a great place to start the next + final step.
No.5 Choose one space from your list each day + declutter it.
Congrats, mama! You made it to the last step. And this one is so much fun (well, to me, but maybe I’m a weirdo, ha)! It’s tangible and you will feel the results almost immediately. Okay. You’re going to take the list from step 4 and declutter one space per day until you’ve decluttered every space on your list. If you marked the space(es) that give you the most angst, start with one of those. Or, if you feel overwhelmed, start with something small-ish and straight forward like a bathroom or a linen closet.
Either way, choose one space per day to declutter until you’ve worked through your entire house. There are a lot of philosophies out there about how to go about decluttering. I say, do what works best for you. When I declutter, I usually go item by item and make separate piles to give away/throw away/sell. And, honestly, I usually end up giving items away before I spend time trying to sell them, but that’s just me. Unless it’s a big ticket item, it’s usually not worth my time.
Now – and this is key! – after you’ve decluttered every space in your home, load everything up and take it to your local donation center ASAP. No excuses, no delays. If you are decluttering large amounts of stuff, you may want to do a run after every couple of spaces. It’s up to you. Just get it out of your house, out of your trunk and out of your life.
This set of decluttering steps are something I hope you’ll revisit as often as you need to, mama. I know I do. It’s so important to do regular decluttering sessions for our mental health and for the peace of our physical spaces. Remember: it’s not once and done. It takes time to slowly remove the layers. And, as you do, you’ll get braver and braver and better and better at letting go.
This post is part of our #selfcareis series. If you’re new here and not sure where to start, how about reading my self-care story and then jumping on my email list by grabbing My Top 10 Self-care Tips for FREE. I promise I’ll never spam you, mama. My heart is to help you care for yourself well.
November is synonymous with thankfulness. And this year (perhaps as I’m getting older), I feel such a deep gratitude. For every moment, every day with the ones that I love. It’s all a gift. I don’t want to take it for granted. And I don’t want to neglect saying it out loud, acting on it, letting the truth of it transform me.
So, I set an intention for the month of November, to be purposeful about expressing my gratitude. As a way to give feet to my words (or wings?). So it’s more than just a sentiment.
Here’s how I’m walking my intention out:
I start the day with this Psalms of Gratitude study. Of course, you don’t need to get the study and I’m not getting paid to promote it, but it’s been wonderful food for my soul in this season. It’s simple but significant. It’s been a wonderful way to focus my mind before the day begins.
Usually I’ll turn on the fire place, make my warm lemon water and sit down with the study. A wonderful dose of truth right when I need it. Perhaps morning is the best time for you, too? To carve out a little quiet time + soak your heart in God’s truth + tune your mind to thankfulness? Like I said, you don’t need any particular study. Perhaps read + pray through these verses or do a word study on thankfulness or just start keeping a running list of your praises.
I record the things I’m thankful for (big + little). I’ve been using the journal pages in my study to make my lists each day. Sometimes I’ll use the Notes app on my phone. Sometimes I write them out in a caption on Instagram. Another great idea is just to have a piece of paper or a notebook open on the kitchen counter with a pen ready to record what comes to mind in odd moments throughout the day.
I guess the whole point is just to keep your thankful list front and center. To be consistent about recording what your thankful for. I know that if I have a page of things I’m thankful for staring at me, it’s a lot harder to get upset about the little things.
And I know that you might not just be dealing with little things. Maybe there are some big things going on in your life. Hard things. Difficult things. And making a thankful list isn’t to trivialize that…but hopefully to shine some light in the darkness. God is there. He hasn’t left you.
I purpose to give thanks before every meal. I’m horrible at this. It seems so simple, I grew up doing it, yet I forget far too often. In the rush to get everyone fed + happy, food on all the plates, drinks to quench their thirst, and don’t forget about yourself, mama! Feeding yourself is just as important. But I forget to say thanks. Sometimes my daughter will remind me and I feel a pang of guilt.
God sees our hearts, he’s not keeping score. But I still want to remember to pause, take a breath in the chaos of meal time and tell Him thank you. Thank you that we are together. That we have food to give our children, food to nourish our bodies. Thank You that You are with us even when we neglect to acknowledge that You are. Forgive me, Jesus, and help me to acknowledge your presence more consistently.
I verbalize to my husband and children why I am thankful for them. So often these thoughts get stuck in my head and never make their way to my tongue. Other thoughts do. Mostly critical ones. And I want to change that. Instead of speaking criticism, I want to speak thankfulness. I want to build up and recharge and fill the person in front of me.
So I’ve started saying out loud things I’m thankful for about that person, to that person. It changes the dynamic of everything. It changes my heart. It shifts the presence in the room and brightens the eyes. I want to do it more, as much as I can.
How about you, mama? As we step into this holiday season? Now with November half over, we don’t have to consign thankfulness to just one month. Let’s step into every new month, every new day with this heart, this attitude that every moment is a gift. Let’s let our lives be woven through with thankfulness.
Speaking gratitude, giving feet to our thankfulness, this is #soulmindbodyselfcare. It’s foundational. If our hearts are content and brimming with gratitude, then our bodies are going to reflect that. And our minds will conform to that.
What are you thankful for? Won’t you list out a few things in the comments?
This post is the first in our #selfcareis series. If you’re new here and not sure where to start, how about reading my self-care story and then jumping on my email list by grabbing My Top 10 Self-care Tips for FREE. I promise I’ll never spam you, mama. My heart is to help you care for yourself well.
I’ve learned + am learning that self-care = taking care of my husband and taking care of my husband = self-care. We are one, so it makes sense.
One of the big ways we practice self-care together is getting away. We make it a goal to go away on at least one trip between babies. To refocus on us, to reset and reconnect in deeper ways.
It’s not the easiest thing in the world. There are lots of hurdles to jump, but we make it a priority. We’re really blessed to have my parents who are willing and able to watch our kiddos. We save cash to pay for our trips so they don’t become a financial burden. And I do a lot of mental work as the mama, because it’s hard for me to leave my babies.
But it’s always worth it. We have never regretted a penny we have spent on each other or a moment we have spent away together.
This time we did something new and went on a camping getaway to Glacier National Park in Montana. We spent just over $800 for five days of sleeping under the stars in some of the most gorgeous scenery in the continental USA.
I’m going to ramble on with a day-by-day detailed narrative of our trip. Mostly so I can relive it. It was so wonderful!
If that’s not your thing, skip to the bottom and check out my recommendations for what to see + do in the park, my tips for camping at Glacier and access to a FREE printable packing list and five day meal plan.
Okay, here we go!
DAY ONE
We drove from southern Washington to West Glacier with a stop at Trader Joe’s in Spokane, of course. We picked up some firewood and ice on our way into the park, bought our pass and stopped at Apgar campground to see if they had any camp sites available. All full. Expected since we didn’t arrive until 6 pm.
We drove around the loop to FishCreek campground. They are one of the only campgrounds that offers reservations (which I didn’t know before hand), all others are first come, first serve. They still had three spots left. We found our site, paid for the night (can’t beat $23!) and set up camp. So, so happy to have a place to sleep! We got a fire going and roasted hot dogs. It was a good first night.
DAY TWO
We got up, packed up and headed out on the Road to the Sun. Our first stop was at Avalanche Campground to try and snag a site for the night. Success! There were three left on the first loop, so we grabbed the one with the most privacy, set up our tent, paid the fee and hopped back on the road.
Driving the Road to the Sun was one of the highlights of our time in the park. It’s a fairly narrow two lane road and can get busy, but there are plenty of pull outs and bathroom stops and the views are worth it.
We stopped at the top of Logan Pass (also the Continental Divide) but the visitor center parking lot was full. So, we parked about a 1/2 mile below it and walked in. We continued up one of the trail heads that branches off behind the center. We chose the three mile round-trip hike to eat lunch with a view of Bearhat Mountain and the hidden lakes. It was a beautiful (if well traveled) trail.
We had an exciting encounter with a mama and baby mountain goat who were flushed out by a grizzly bear. They galloped down the hill right beside where we sat eating lunch and we watched them race across the open space in front of us, through the trees and up into the craggy rocks.
And, yes, the grizzly wasn’t far behind them. Ha. He was an adolescent so not as big as he could have been and pretty unconcerned with all the hikers. The worst part wasn’t the bear, it was The Pink Panic Lady (as we called her, haha) who insisted on very loudly telling everyone she passed that there was a bear. She followed us all the way back down the trail. The bear did, too, walking nonchalantly about 25 feet off the trail, no doubt amused by everyone’s excitement + yelling.
Thankfully we were able to gain some distance from both The Pink Panic Lady and the grizzly and made it back down to our car with no incident. We continued on the Road to the Sun into St. Marys, which is right outside the east entrance. We made another pit stop and grabbed some huckleberry pie with huckleberry ice cream at the Park Cafe. Then we continued on to Many Glacier Lodge.
The drive into Many Glacier is about 45 minutes over a bumpy road. It’s pretty, but we’d only drive it again if we were staying at the lodge or wanted to camp up there. The lodge itself is Swiss-styled with a lovely view from the veranda. You can order drinks to-go at the Swiss Lounge; we got a beer to split and relaxed while taking in the awesome view.
We were planning to drive the Road to the Sun back to our campground, but had to detour out and around the park back to the west side due to a car accident at Logan Pass that had shut down the road. That’s one of the downsides to the park, there’s really only one road through it. If there’s lots of traffic or a car accident, there can be long delays.
We still got back to our campsite in plenty of time to cook up some salmon + roasted broccoli and enjoy another lovely evening by the fire.
Fishcreek Campground
Lake MacDonald
Road to the Sun
Hidden Lakes
Park Cafe has the best pie!
Many Glacier Lodge
Avalanche Campground
DAY THREE
We got up and headed into West Glacier for more fire wood, ice and to update my folks on where we were. Then we went to Lake MacDonald, found a parking spot (no easy feat! even without the heavy summer crowds) and checked out the lodge. It’s also Swiss-styled like Many Glacier and has loads of charm, along with a lovely veranda.
We decided to forgo the popular boat tour of the lake and rented a kayak instead. It was the best decision! Just $18 an hour and we had the lake almost to ourselves. At its deepest, Lake MacDonald is 3,100 feet and the water is so clear, you can see to the bottom out to about 30 feet. It was almost like being in a glass bottomed boat. The weather was perfect, the views stunning and we spent a lot of time dreaming about which lake house we’d buy if we could.
After our hour was up, we decided to head out on a hike to Fish Lake (more of a large pond). I thought it was 3 miles round trip, but after about 30 minutes climbing practically straight up, Matt informed me that, no, it was 3 miles in and 3 miles back. Ha. We almost turned around, but decided to stick it out. And I’m so glad we did. We only passed a few other hikers, the forest was so peaceful and we talked about things we’d never talked about before. There’s something so special about having extended, technology-free time to unwind together.
After our hike, we headed back to our campsite to grill up some hamburgers and play some battleship. Just simple memories, simple fun, being together, laughing and talking and reconnecting on deeper levels. So good.
Lake MacDonald
Hike to Fish Lake
DAY FOUR
We decided to head to the northwest part of the park and camp at Kintla Lake. It’s a long drive, but so pretty. A lot of the way up is over dirt roads. It’s slow going, but worth it.
We stocked up again on ice and firewood, although you are allowed to gather wood at the Kintla Lake Campground. I’m glad we did because it ended up raining that evening and everything would have been wet.
We detoured to see Lake Bowman. It was stunning, but the campground was pretty full and set way back so you couldn’t even tell there was a lake nearby. We continued on to Kintla Lake and found a spot set right against the Kintla Creek. You could see the lake through the trees. It was beautiful.
We set up camp and then decided to go for a swim. I am not a lake swimmer, but these glacier lakes are so clean + clear. The sun peaked out for just a little while, and we made the most of it. The water was cold, but not frigid. It felt so good and we had the lake to ourselves.
After our swim, we headed back to camp to get into our warm, cozy clothes. Not long after that, the rain started, a drizzle at first. Thankfully we had our fire going already, nice and strong. We decided to set up our second tent, a screened in gazebo that keeps the rain off. Best decision ever. We grilled up our steaks + veggies and enjoyed the fire all while staying warm + dry.
The rain stopped after a little while and the stars even came out that night. It was the chilliest it had been our whole trip and super cozy. There were some bugs, but mostly just little gnats and no mosquitoes, thank goodness.
Bowman Lake
Kintla Lake Campground
Kintla Lake
DAY FIVE
We got up leisurely and sipped our coffee by the lake. It was so quiet + peaceful. When I envisioned us on this camping trip, that’s what I envisioned: sitting on the edge of the lake together, sipping coffee, talking and soaking up the quiet. It was the perfect end to our getaway.
We packed up (we’re practically pros at this point, ha) and started the long drive home. Hearts full, memory banks full, marriage tank full. And we’re already dreaming about our next getaway.
I’m not a Glacier expert by any means, but here is a quick overview of things we loved + things we learned…
Things to See + Do in Glacier:
Drive the Road to the Sun.
Stop at the Logan Pass visitors center; hike to Hidden Lake (3 miles round trip) or hike the Highline trail (11.5 miles).
Kayak on Lake MacDonald (or any of the lakes for that matter).
Stop into Lake MacDonald Lodge or Many Glacier Lodge for a drink and some gorgeous views.
Go for a hike. Any hike. There are so many to choose from – long, short and everywhere in between. The two main hikes we did were Hidden Lakes from the Logan Pass Visitor Center and Fish Lake which started across the road from the Lake MacDonald Lodge.
Grab some huckleberry pie at the Park Cafe in St. Marys.
Quick tips for camping + exploring Glacier:
A week pass for the park is $35 for an individual car. You can buy your pass ahead of time here.
Plan to stock up on ice and firewood (and cell service) before you enter the park or at one of the parks villages. West Glacier + Apgar on the west side and St. Marys on the east were our stops. Some campgrounds (like Kintla) let you gather wood, but most do not.
We found the best cell reception in West Glacier village. The visitor centers advertise free wifi, but we never could get connected.
Most of the park campgrounds are first come, first serve except for Fishcreek Campground on the west side. That campground does except reservations, but they probably book out six months at least. Height of summer, most campgrounds are full very early. We went the end of August, between the “no fee” day and Labor Day and found availability at most campgrounds before 11am.
If possible, choose a site that is far enough away from the bathrooms that they won’t keep you up at night. The first place we stayed, people were using it until well after midnight, leaving the light on, slamming doors and using the hand-dryer of all things. It’s not super restful.
The only road through the park is the Road to the Sun. If you don’t want to run into traffic or other delays, plan to drive it first thing in the morning or in the evening.
There aren’t many places to eat in the park. Lake MacDonald and Many Glacier Lodges both have restaurants and the villages will have a cafe or snack bar. Other than that, plan to eat outside the park or bring plenty of food.
Plan to carry bear spray with you on all hikes and plan to keep all food in your car or campground bear boxes.
A couple of great resources I found while planning our trip:
This article has a ton of awesome information on the Glacier campgrounds.
If you need a great overview of all there is to see + do in Glacier, this post is great.
If you’re looking for kiddo-friendly camping tips, I have a highlight saved over on Instagram with lots of great info.
We’ve been camping every summer for the last three years. Through our experiences, I’ve created a master packing list and come up with some great camping meals.
CLICK HERE to grab my free master camping list + five day meal plan. This isn’t your average printable list. It’s more of a mini guide book. I get super specific and detailed on exactly what we pack + why.I also share a detailed 5 day meal plan that covers breakfast, lunch + dinner. I talk about what I bring to make our favorite meals and share a lot of tips on how to make them. I’m also including a small bonus section of what I pack when we’re camping with our kiddos. Adapt this guide to your needs and use it as a springboard for your next camping adventure.
Do you love to camp? Have any tricks or tips to share? Leave them in the comments or send me an email!
Such a simple but loaded question, right? It’s a question that has eternal repercussions, but also one we tend to brush aside for the immediate. The little fires. The thing [maybe all the things?] screaming for our attention all day long. It’s hard to hear anything else.
I’m hoping that deciding where to let go [week 1] and choosing to practice gratitude daily [week 2] helped pave a path through those little fires and quieted some of the things screaming for our attention. Even just a little.
Which brings us to week 3, this final week of the #soulmindbodyselfcare Reset, where we focus on embracing what really matters. I came across this verse last week and thought it would be fitting to share here:
Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth. 1 Peter 3:10 MSG
Back to the original question: how do weembrace what really matters? There is no right or wrong way, but here is one way you can do it. And it takes just two steps:
Step One: Spend some time determining what matters most in this season. Close the door, quiet all the voices, take out pen + paper and write them down. What is truly most important? Right now, right where you are?
Step Two: Decide on specific action steps to embrace those things. Perhaps one action step per thing? Or maybe you need to break down each action step into baby steps. Whatever works. Whatever allows you to take action, to take that first step.
One thing that matters most for me in this season is spending quality time with my kiddos. I spend all day with them, but I really want to s l o w down and focus in and memorize how they are right now. Because it’s all going by way too fast. And there will be plenty of time later for all.the.things. but the days I have with my kiddos won’t last forever (even if sometimes it feels like they will, ha).
So, one action step I’m taking to embrace this “important thing” is to read more with my kids. To put other things on a hold for a bit and sit down and read books. To bring out the Jesus Storybook Bible at breakfast and spend some time reading + discussing what we learn [they’re little brains are so smart! we have awesome conversations]. This is a great opportunity for me to invite them into my arms, into my space and spend quality time with them.
Thank you so much for joining me for this Reset! I’ve enjoyed it so much. It’s stretched me and grown me in a good way, as I hope it’s done for you.
And it doesn’t have to stop there! Every new day is a chance for a reset. A re-fresh, re-charge, re-commitment to what really matters.
Leave a comment if you have any questions for me! I’m here. You can catch me over on Instagram and if you’d like a little jumpstart to your self-care journey, grab my Top 10 Self-Care Tips here for free.
My little family + I recently made our annual trek to the beach. My husband + I were married at a little spot called Inlet Beach, FL and we love going back every year. It’s been so neat to watch our family grow + make consistent memories there.
Our week away gave me time to think + pray and while I did one thought kept pressing itself on my heart:
Let go of everything that isn’t important so that you can fully embrace everything that is.
This thought wasn’t born from a rock-your-world event. No, this thought was born from packing our suitcase (of all things!). We decided this year we were going to pack as light as possible and only take one suitcase for the five of us. And, you know what, we did it. We used almost everything we brought and had no need to purchase anything we left behind.
And I couldn’t shake the thought that we successfully fit our whole life in one suitcase. All the dozens of scenarios I’ve come up with in the past (got to bring that in case this happens, etc) didn’t happen + even if they had, there was a Walmart right down the road. You guys, I wore one pair of flip flops the entire week + I was fine. Imagine that. Ha.
Not only was I fine, I was great! From our travel days, to finding items I needed, to keeping the suitcase organized, everything was easier, lighter, freer. Truly. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to keep things so simple, to let go of everything I hadn’t needed all those other times, and to embrace what was really important.
And it made me think: what kind of baggage am I carrying around? Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? In all the ways? That’s totally unnecessary + that’s keeping me from living life to the fullest?
All of this has inspired me to spend the month of July focusing on letting go of anything and everything that I don’t need or love in my life.
A month of subtracting, not adding.
Simplifying.
Stripping away.
Paring down.
A mid-year reset, if you will. A re-set, re-fresh, re-charge, re-commitment to what really matters.
Here are the 7 ways I’m letting go of what’s not important this month:
I am spending 15 minutes a day practicing mindfulness, prayer and gratitude. I’ll go into more details about this on Instagram, but essentially, I will spend a couple of minutes tuning in, about 10 minutes praying [this is when I will be praying daily for the Lord to show me everything I need to let go of] and a couple of minutes naming all of the things I’m grateful for.
I am not spending money on anything unnecessary. This month is about subtracting, not adding. This means I’m going to buy food to eat + diapers for my 15 month old + gas for the car, etc, but I’m not going to throw random items in my Amazon cart or get sucked into buying clothes I don’t need via email marketing (more on that next) or buy anything really that I can make, re-use or do without. More on this over on the gram, too.
I am unsubscribing from anything I don’t need. This means emails that are selling me something or that I don’t even remember signing up for (anyone else?!). This means any subscriptions to anything that don’t align with my priorities.
I am letting go of guilt. Guilt I’ve carried for far too long. Guilt over what I’m eating or not eating, what I’m doing or not doing, where I’m going or not going, how I’m mothering or not mothering. Self-imposed or not, it’s paralyzing and I’m done with it. Guilt has muddied the water for far too long – I want to see + think clearly.
I am going through the entire house (including the garage) item by item + letting go of anything I don’t need or love. I’m also hoping to find some things we can sell for some extra cash to put towards a few of our savings goals. Side note: my husband likes when I organize his stuff, but I never give anything away without his permission. Also, I will be enlisting the kiddos’ input when I go through their stuff as always. But everything else better watch out, ha.
I am getting back to basics with my self-care. Travel can really throw you off, even as hard as I tried to stay in routine and on plan. It always takes a lot more flexibility and winging it than being at home where I have so much more control. So, I’m getting back on my elimination diet (mostly, more on that later), back to our s l o w homebody routines, back to solid nap and bed times, back to my self-care rhythms.
I am going back to my Tuesday + Thursday only Instagram days. This helps me cut way down on my phone usage. So I’m going to take that extra time and spend it reading (I’ll be sharing my current reads soon), writing (currently finishing up the draft of my book on self-care), moving (I’ll be sharing how I exercise with littles soon) and resting (lots of slow mornings, laying out in the sunshine while the kiddos play, detox baths and early bed times).
Are you ready to join me in this mid-year Reset?
Here are several ways you can:
1.) Check in here on the blog for the next three weeks. I’ll be sharing each week’s prompts as we go along. Here is the one for this week:
Answer this question: What do I need to let go of? Then write down the specific ways you’re going to let go. I encourage you to get super personal + practical with this step.
2.) Come follow me on Instagram! I post on Tuesdays + Thursdays and recently started using IGTV. Lots of good, encouraging content over there.
3.)Sign up for my email list and get each prompt in your inbox bright + early on Mondays. You’ll also received my Top 10 Self-Care Tips PDF for FREE just for signing up.
That’s it for now. I’ll be back next week with a post on our second week focus: specific ways to practice gratitude.
Three steps to creating your own daily self-care routine
A daily self-care routine is vital because it ensures that we are regularly, consistently caring for ourselves.
And when we’re consistent with our self-care:
We feel more our true selves.
We have more to give those we love.
We inspire those around us to care for themselves, too.
It’s taken time, trial and error. It shifts and changes with the seasons. But I have created a daily self-care routine that works for me. Now it’s on auto pilot. I don’t have to think, I just have to do.
Here’s what my daily #soulmindbodyselfcare routine looks like:
Morning
Wake up between 6-7am. It’s a broad wake up time since I’m currently dealing with Hashimotos and adrenal fatigue.
Open the blinds, open the window, tidy the bedroom, make the bed
Do my skin care routine + brush my teeth and hair
Read the YouVersion verse of the day or a passage from the book of the Bible I’m working through
Practice 15 minutes of mindfulness|meditation + prayer|gratitude + manifesting
Get dressed, do makeup + hair when needed. Again, I’m being really casual in this season of healing; I go make-up free and wear my pajamas all day quite often.
Head out to the kitchen to make my warm water with fresh squeezed lemon juice + a pinch of Redmond Real Salt. This aids in re-hydration + is also great for adrenal recovery.
Make + drink a green smoothie. I’ll often water plants + gardens outside, get some sunshine on my face, open the blinds in the rest of the house, greet the kiddos, set out my supplements for the day, etc.
Make + eat breakfast. Either a veggie + meat saute’, GF soaked steel cut oats, homemade granola with almond milk…or a veggie saute’. That one is on repeat a lot.
Through Out the Day + at Nap Time/Quiet Time
Make and drink hydrating + healing drinks as often as I’m craving them. Above and beyond 100 ounces of filtered water, I’ll drink stinging nettle leaf tea, healing hot cocoa, golden milk lattes, blended teas and (when I’m not on an adrenal protocol), Foursigmatic mushroom coffee.
Get outside with the kids, all day, every day. We do watering that needs to be done, play, read, run in the sprinkler, lay out and soak up sunshine, eat our meals. Basically we’re just outside as much as possible.
When I’m feeling the energy, I’ll do yoga or a HIIT workout. Again this is so dependent on my health, so I really have to listen to my body.
At naptime/quiet time, I ask myself the Magic Question. This usually leads to me working on the blog or my eBook on practicing self-care with littles (due out by the end of the year), taking a nap or reading.
Practice 15 more minutes of mindfulness|meditation + prayer|gratitude + manifesting
Clean one section of the house, throw in a load of wash, stay on top of purging/tidying. This is self-care to me. I like to do a little each day so that it doesn’t build up. Plus, there’s nothing better than a tidy house at the end of a long day.
Evening
Do the dishes and sweep/tidy the kitchen while my husband does bath time/bed time with the kiddos. I will prep any food, lunches, etc, for the next day as well. I consider anything that makes life easier in the long run (prepping ahead of time) to be self-care.
Make and drink my Calm Vitality magnesium drink.
Take a shower or a detox bath, do my skincare routine, get in my jammies.
Fill up the diffusers in our room and the kids room.
Go outside if I can and enjoy the sunset, walk barefoot, read or do a brain dump, plan out the next day
Be snuggled in bed by 9pm with my heat pack and a good book.
Lights off by 10pm so I can get at least 8 hours of sleep.
The best part is, now that I’ve got the shell of my routine down, I can sub, shift or change as needed depending on the season. I can also adapt it when traveling.
There’s never a reason to go a day without self-care.
Now let’s talk about the easiest way to create a self-care routine that works for you. Here are my three simple steps:
1.) Get a pen + paper (or pull up the Notes app on your phone) and make three time blocks like I did above: morning, throughout the day/nap time, and evening.
2.) Write down all the self-care items you would include in those time blocks on an ideal day. Don’t think too hard, just write what comes to mind. You might not always get to all the items, but you’ll have them as a reference.
3.) Start now. In whatever time block it is that you’re reading this. You don’t have to wait for the perfect day or time. Pick one of the self-care items you wrote down and start.
BONUS: Put your routine somewhere you’ll see it every day. Print it out, tape it inside a cupboard or on your mirror. Keep it in front of you until it sinks in and becomes habit.
Remember: every day is a new day to care for yourself.
P.P.S. I have a whole “Day in the Life” showing my self-care routines in action saved to my Instagram highlights. Hop on over and check it out. I’m over there every Tuesday and Thursday posting about all things #soulmindbodyselfcare.
Even though books and books and books could be filled with all the PMS jokes out there, all the stereotypes and quips…PMS is not normal. And it’s not something we should accept as “just part of being a woman.” As with any health + wellness related issues, we shouldn’t stop searching for answers if we still have questions. We shouldn’t just accept the status quo.
I would always have characterized my PMS symptoms as mild. Just generally feeling bleh, a little more tired, craving some extra carbs, irritable when pushed. But, man, oh, man, there were about two months in a row (Jan/Feb) that threw me for a loop. And sent me searching for answers.
I was not myself. Angry, irrational, exhausted, hyper sensitive to any and all stimuli, unmotivated, depressed, craving all the things, slow recovery from working out, just…ugh… I wanted to go somewhere and be totally alone, just stop life. And I wasn’t just feeling this way for a couple days, I was feeling this way for about two weeks out of the month.
As I researched, I started gathering tid bits of wisdom. Simple things I could try, tweak, change that would have a big impact. And I started learning more about how our bodies go through seasons in a month much like a calendar year. Spring, summer, fall, winter. So many things started making a lot more sense.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Please check with your care provider before starting any new supplements, especially if you are pregnant and/or breastfeeding. Do your research, be your own advocate.
Here are a few key things I did to ease (+ pretty much eliminate) my PMS symptoms:
1. Drink Stinging Nettle Leaf Tea.
I had never heard of stinging nettle tea before I found Nicole Jardim – The Period Girl. You can go to her website and take a simple quiz and she’ll send you a free guide to addressing your specific PMS symptoms. Super informative and enlightening, one of the more impactful freebies I’ve received in exchange for my email. That’s how I learned about stinging nettle tea. It contains Vitamins C, K and A as well as magnesium and calcium. All of which greatly support our bodies during PMS.
I buy my stinging nettle tea in bulk and brew up a batch every few days. I love mine cold the best. I’ll often steep it in a large glass jar in the sun on my front porch. It’s not only a great way to mix up your hydration game, but it really does help support your body’s cycle.
2. Listen to your body when it comes to the exercise that’s right for you.
It goes without saying that exercise releases endorphins that help us feel better. But if you over do the exercise, especially the week before your period, it can leave you feeling worse instead of better. In recent months, even longer yoga sessions were too intense for me the week before I started my period.
The key is this: listen to your body. If you’re feeling a HIIT workout, by all means, go for it. Sometimes I am. Other times I’ve found I crave slow, gentle movement that week. Lots of neighborhood walks, mindful yoga flows and stretching. It’s good to keep moving, and, as long as you’re listening to your body, you’ll be good to go.
3. Up your magnesium intake.
Did you know that somewhere around 90% of us are deficient in this important mineral? Crazy, right? So many things can deplete it and it’s so vital to so many processes in our body.
Upping my magnesium has been a game changer for me. I’ve taken it in capsule form for over a year now. I’ve also used magnesium oil. Neither one really seemed to make a difference. But then I started taking Pure Magnesium Glycinate before bed and it makes a huge difference.
A couple other great ways to get extra magnesium? Taking regular epsom salt baths and eating plenty of dark leafy greens like kale, chard, spinach and beet greens (more on that in a bit).
BONUS: making sure to focus on a veggie heavy diet will naturally increase your fiber intake and fiber helps keep you regular which helps ease PMS symptoms.
4. Add an adaptogen blend to your daily green smoothie.
Yes, I recommend a daily green smoothie. It’s a great place to start if you don’t know where to start. Try my favorite recipes here, here and here.
I’m relatively new to the world of adaptogens. I haven’t used them much at all, but I was desperate for anything that might help. So, I did some research and found a blend I could add to my morning smoothie.
This MegaFood Maca Plus blend is excellent and it made a noticeable difference. It’s packed with adaptogens like: ashawaganda, motherwort, vitex (chastetree berry) and maca.
5. Lay low on the alcohol, caffeine and sugar.
I know. Easier said than done. To cut back on alcohol, I love to muddle mint + lime, add some crushed ice and pour over some La Croix. Or I’ll blend any fresh fruit I have on hand with ice + La Croix and pour it into a fancy glass.
I try to limit my caffeine to 1 cup no more than 3-4 times a week. I’m even experimenting with cutting that back because I see a difference when I don’t drink caffeine. I sleep better + my digestion is a lot more calm. When I do drink caffeine, it’s this coffee that’s packed with medicinal mushrooms. Otherwise I’ll make a matcha latte, turmeric tea or a healing hot chocolate.
Cutting back on sugar is another beast. Not only because it’s just not fun but because SUGAR IS IN ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. Check all your labels and then check them again. I’ve found cane sugar lurking in my favorite sriracha sauce and bone broth. The best tactic I’ve found to cutting back on sugar is to find or make substitutions so that I’m supporting my body but also not feeling deprived.
Some of my favorite substitutes are: Hail Merry cups, Heavenly Organics mint chocolate patties, Honey Mama’s chocolate and this amazing chocolate cake recipe.
6. Eat more beets.
Seriously. Eating beets makes a huge difference when it comes to my PMS symptoms. Beets keeps me regular – TMI?? But regular is good, because that’s how our bodies eliminate excess estrogen and toxins. And that greatly eases PMS symptoms.
Beets are high in potassium, vitamin C, fiber, betaine (helps fight inflammation), folate and manganese. They are rich in phytonutrients and aid your body in detoxification.
BONUS: eat those beet greens, too! They are rich in protein, phosphorus, zinc, fiber, vitamin B6, magnesium, potassium, copper, and manganese. They also supply vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium, and iron. Did you know they have more iron than spinach? I didn’t know that.
I saute mine up in avocado oil with some garlic, onion, sweet potato and breakfast sausage and they taste amazing. So, eat your beets (and beet greens) because they’re good for you!
And I couldn’t help but throw in a bonus #7:
7. Layer on the self-care.
Last but definitely not least. This one you can start doing right now, today. You all know I love me some #soulmindbodyselfcare. And I’ve been layering it on even more, especially the week before my period.
I’ve been:
Going to bed earlier + sleeping in a little later.
Doing a face mask and painting my nails regularly.
Taking a nap.
Laying on the couch + just watching TV (current favorite shows right now: Boise Boys on HGTV and Beat Bobby Flay on Food Network).
Eating lots of soups + smoothies + roasted veggies that are easier to digest.
Saying no to anything extra, leaving plenty of margin.
I have seen a night and day improvement since implementing all these things. The month after I started, my PMS symptoms only lasted two days. The month after that, they lasted one day. And this past month the only symptoms I had were craving a few more carbs + feeling a little more tired. I only wish I’d started sooner.
Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama.
I’m not writing this post because I have all the answers. Or because I’ve discovered the secret to living stress-free. I’m writing this post because I need it just as much as you do. Maybe more. I’m writing it because I’ve found a few key things that have helped me reduce my stress, and I want to share those things in case they help you, too.
These tips can work for anyone, but I’m coming from the motherhood perspective. Truth: being a mom is wonderful + beautiful + a dream come true for me. It’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done + is incredibly stressful at times. I have three littles and nothing can raise my blood pressure more, leave me begging for some space or make me feel like running away some days, ha.
I hope these tips meet you wherever you are and become tools in your stress reducing toolbox like they have for me.
Let’s dive in..
1.) SET THOSE BOUNDARIES.
I put this first because I believe it’s foundational. If we don’t know how to set boundaries, we will always live in a state of stress.
I’m going to get super personal and give specific examples of how I set boundaries to reduce stress:
I say no to over commitment. I think really, really hard about how plans will play out before I say yes to anything. If I feel anything but a “YES!”, it’s a no.
I leave plenty of margin in our days. Most days we are at home. If we do go somewhere, it’s rarely ever before 10am or after 6pm. No rushing. No early mornings or late nights. No burning the candle at both ends.
I have a firm wake up time for the kiddos. They don’t get to leave their room in the morning until 7:45am and they must be dressed with bed made and teeth brushed. Might sound intense, but it’s what works for us. They can get up and play whenever they want, but they stay in their room with the door closed.
I also have firm nap/quiet time and bed times. For my sake and for theirs! Remember, mama: we’re modeling stress reduction for our kids. Routines that ensure adequate rest + sleep are so important.
I like to keep our weekends mostly free. Rarely do we have something scheduled two weekends in a row.
I could go on, but I think that’s a pretty good peek into how I set boundaries to reduce stress. There’s no one size fits all. It takes trial and error just like most things in life, but I encourage you to find and firmly hold to your boundaries.
2.) CHOOSE A FORM OF MOVEMENT YOU LOVE.
I used to dread working out. Exercising just seemed like a waste of time and left me feeling worse than when I started. Then I learned I was approaching it all wrong. Moving our bodIES should support our health, not harm it. It should help us relax when all is said and done, not cause more stress. Because any stress – whether “good” or bad – is processed by our body in the same way.
So find some movement that supports your body. That doesn’t leave you drained for days afterwards. That doesn’t cause more harm than good.
My favorite way to move is yoga. I practice from home using YouTube videos. I try to do at least 5 minutes a day, if not 15-20 minutes, depending on how I feel.
Some of my other favorite ways to move:
Taking the kiddos on a long morning walk.
Hiking our local trails.
Adding sprints while I’m pushing the jogging stroller.
Fitting in some cardio with a 10-15 minute HIIT workout.
It really doesn’t matter what you do. If it’s something you love and it gets you moving, just aim for consistency. As they say in yoga, “Your daily practice is your strongest practice.”
3.) GET OUTSIDE.
For as much as you can, for as long as you can each day. There are so many studies that show being in nature helps reduce stress. Here’s how I make it happen:
I sit on our front porch first thing, while I hydrate, even if it’s just for five minutes. I get some sun on my face, listen to the birds, take a deep breath and feel much better.
I also like to lay out mid-day on the nicer, warm days. I soak up some vitamin D and drink a tall glass of water. Sometimes I read a book.
The kids and I are generally outside for 4-6 hours a day during nice weather. A few hours in the morning so they can ride their bikes and I can water our plants + gardens or observe the chaos (ha!) while enjoying a cup of something warm. Then a few hours in the afternoon after their quiet time.
Sometimes we go for a morning walk. Sometimes we eat all our meals outside. My main goal is as much fresh air and sunshine as we can stand. Ha.
If you’re working and you spend most of your time inside (I’ve been there!) aim to get some morning time outside before work if you can, step out on your lunch break for 20-30 min and then build an evening walk or dinner on the patio into your routine.
4.) REDUCE PHYSICAL CLUTTER.
This has been a game changer for me. It hasn’t happened over night, but slowly, steadily I’ve minimized our physical clutter. Here are a few things you can do to get started:
Rotate your kids’ toys. I keep a bin for each kiddo that stays up in the closet. Every 4-6 weeks we rotate the toys they have out with the toys in the bins. It’s one for one. I don’t have a specific number of toys they can keep out, but my two major criteria are: 1.) what fits in their toy bin and 2.) what I don’t mind seeing scattered all across the house. Bonus: we also rotate our books so we only have a certain number down at any given time.
Clear off your counter tops. Only keep out what you love and use daily. Bonus: keep the flow going + clear all flat surfaces.
Build a capsule wardrobe. Sell or donate anything you don’t love or need. Check out this post for my top tips for building a capsule you love.
Keep a permanent donation box in your garage. Go through one space a week. When the box is filled, put it in the trunk and take it to donation.
Leave plenty of white space on your walls. I don’t hang stuff just to fill space. I love everything I put on our walls…and I love all the white space just as much.
5.) REDUCE MENTAL CLUTTER.
Do a brain dump once a day. I usually do mine at night before bed or whenever I feel like I have a million thing swimming around in my brain that I need to capture on paper.
Write down your monthly, weekly and daily goals. Get them down in black and white. Make them doable and specific. I also write down any commitments, event, must do’s so I don’t miss anything.
Keep your to do list to your top three tasks. Don’t have a list a mile long. Keep it short and sweet. Build that momentum. Maybe start with a quick task so you have an easy win to get the ball rolling.
Delegate whenever you can. To your spouse, the kiddos, a house cleaner, a personal shopper or meal service, subscription, etc.
More on delegating to your kiddos…
Because, mamas, you need to hear this: our kids are capable of so much and the truth is they want and need to help. They need to feel a part of the family, like they are contributing. Don’t be afraid to give them tasks, to rely on them to do age appropriate work, or even to push them a little bit outside their comfort zones.
My six and three year old routinely make their beds + clean their room, empty the dishwasher, fold and put away laundry, clear their dishes + sweep up under their chairs, pull weeds in our garden, etc. They do it all with ease (note, I didn’t say without complaining, haha) and it’s such a great opportunity to gain a strong work ethic, to learn what it takes to run a household and to realize how important each member is to the success of the whole family.
6.) DE-TOX YOUR EATING (+YOUR HOME ENVIRONMENT).
Okay, this one might be a can of worms, but I had to mention it because it’s made such an impact on my body’s ability to handle stress. I recently had a food sensitivity test done through my doctor and discovered I am highly sensitive to several foods that I eat on a regular basis. I’ve since cut those foods out and I am already seeing improvements. The biggest one so far: better sleep.
I was sleeping horribly before. I was always restless, had hot flashes or night sweats, vivid dreams…just over all crappy sleep. Even when my baby started sleeping routinely through the night. It turns out the foods I was sensitive to were affecting my quality of sleep. And sleep is so, so important when it comes to stress reduction. If we’re not sleeping well, we’re not going to handle stress well. As any new parent knows, ha.
Cleaning up your diet can help to significantly reduce stress on your body. Here are some things I’ve done to clean up my diet:
I cut out all the foods I’m sensitive to: yeast, gluten, wheat, bananas, eggs, all dairy products, and cane sugar. I’m not drinking alcohol and I’ve significantly reduced my caffeine intake.
I drink at least half my body weight in ounces of filtered water daily.
I eat 6-8 servings of veggies a day.
I buy organic, non-GMO, non-conventional food products as much as possible.
I only take high quality supplements (no fillers) + only when I need them.
Keep in mind, this is by no means an exhaustive list and it’s personalized to me. So, don’t just do what I’m doing. I encourage you to find a good functional medicine doctor, get tested and build a clean eating plan that works for you.
Another big thing I’ve done is to clean up our home environment and lighten our toxic load. This also reduces the amount of stress on our bodies. We might not be able to control the rest of the world, but we can control our homes. Here’s what you can do:
Open your windows on the regular. Turn on the fans and get the air circulating.
Wet dust, vacuum and wash bedding + curtains regularly.
Replace any toxic cleaners, laundry products and personal care products (check out the Environmental Working Group (EWG) for ratings) with clean ones. I love Branch Basics for all my cleaning and laundry needs. BambuEarth is my favorite clean beauty company and W3ll People sell some of my favorite clean makeup.
Get a whole house air filtration system or these air purifiers for each bedroom like we did.
Get a whole house water filtration system or this counter top filter we love that removes most contaminants including fluoride.
Buy organic, non-toxic furniture and bedding whenever possible.
Remember: take one step at a time. None of this will happen over night. It’s a journey. Do what you can with what you have and, as time and budget allows, do a little bit more.
And that’s a wrap! Let me know in the comments if you have tips to add or any questions at all.
Also, check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.
I rocked in place while my little girl nursed. Her eyes started to close, her lashes brushing her chubby cheeks. Finally she relaxed against me and I laid her in her crib, held my breath.
Getting my daughter to nap was always a precarious operation. Getting her to sleep period was precarious. And often unsuccessful. But it appeared I might actually get some alone time that afternoon. My three year old son was already napping in the other room. I was hopeful. I needed that time so badly after a crazy morning and a sleepless night.
She was asleep. Somehow the stars had aligned. The house was quiet as I tip toed out, being careful not to let the door click shut behind me.
Ahhhhh… But then I was faced with the question that I almost dreaded more than the afternoons when neither of my babies slept:
“What do I do now?”
It was paralyzing. Wanting to do everything and nothing at the same time. Do I sit and stare at the wall? Fold laundry? Update the budget, pay bills, finish dishes? Do I work out? Take a nap? Watch TV, scroll Insta or both?
Can any mamas out there relate? Have you asked yourself that question, too? Felt just as paralyzed?
What I’ve learned and what I wish I would have known then is that I was asking the wrong question. It’s overwhelming to ask “What do I do now?” And, for me at least, my hyper sense of responsibility would kick in and that question would become, “What do I have to do now?”
Naptime does sometimes have to be spent getting things done. And that in and of itself is self-care. Taking care of business so it’s not nagging or weighing on us.
But I often made non-urgent tasks urgent and lost the chance to fill my cup during those quiet moments.
When my third baby was born, I started asking myself a different question. I like to call it the “magic” question:
“What do I NEED right now?”
This question changes everything. It removes the overwhelm and the hyper sense of responsibility and it gives you the chance to put self-care into action.
What do you need? Right now, in this moment? You may need to:
sleep. And if you do, by all means, sleep, mama
sit on the back porch with your face to the sun
do some gentle yoga, or even a 15 minute HIIT workout
paint your nails
fix yourself a salad
read a book you’ve been wanting to read
do a face mask
walk around the backyard
eat that square of dark chocolate that’s been calling your name
Only you know what you need. So, when you can, as often as you can, at naptime:
Set aside all you HAVE to do and do what you NEED instead.
I just tip toed out of my daughter’s room, being careful not to let the door click shut behind me. She’s three years old now and getting her to sleep at nap time is still precarious. Before I became a parent I always swore I’d never lay down with one of my children to get them to sleep…but I lay down with my daughter at nap time sometimes, just in the hopes that I will get some precious time alone.
And then I ask myself the magic question: what do I need right now?
Oh, what a difference from the question I used to ask myself after tip toeing out of her room.
Today I need to write. Putting the written world out there for the world to read is part of my self-care. I also need to hydrate and soak up some vitamin D, so I’m going to sign off in just a minute to do both those things.
How about you, mama? If you get those precious moments of quiet today, will you promise me to ask yourself what you need?
I don’t call it the magic question for nothing. It’s changed everything for me and I know it will for you, too.
Let’s care for ourselves,
Hannah
P.S. Sign up for the monthly #soulmindbodyselfcare newsletter that’s full of so much more self-care goodness and get my Selfcare Guide for FREE.
P.P.S. Read my response to the popular advice “sleep while the baby sleeps” right here.
I wish there was a magic answer for this one, but there’s not. My first two newborn seasons were rough for so many reasons. Some reasons were beyond my control, but some weren’t and I just didn’t realize it.
This third newborn season was a dream, both for reasons I didn’t orchestrate (hello, baby who miraculously slept) and also because I had learned what was within my control + took action.
Here are my top tips for surviving the newborn season:
1.] Ask yourself what you need, not what you need to do.
Okay, let’s address the “sleep while the baby sleeps” bit of advice right out of the gate. While I agree that this is ideal, it’s not always possible or practical. And I know from experience that often what I need more than sleep (hard to believe but true) is just some quiet, some space and something to fill my cup.
So, when the baby does sleep ask yourself this magic question: “What do I need right now?” It may be sleep, and, if it is, by all means, sleep, mama. But it may be a walk around the backyard in the sunshine. It may be a tall glass of water and a nutrient dense snack. It may be some gentle stretching or ten minutes reading a book or a nice soak in the tub or twenty minutes doing your hair and makeup. Only you know what you need. Set aside all you need to do and do what YOU need instead.
2.] Give yourself lots and lots [and lots] of margin.
Cut out anything that isn’t absolutely essential. This means everything but feeding, clothing, caring for you and your baby(ies) basic needs. At least for the first twelve weeks. Give yourself that 4th trimester to fully adjust. This means 6 out of 7 days a week you have nothing planned, no where to be at any specific time. Don’t underestimate the importance of this point.
This is not the season for play dates or running multiple errands in a row. It’s not the season for starting a side hustle or taking on more work. Over-scheduling, over-doing, over-reaching will leave you over-whelmed and exhausted, frazzled and under-nourished in all the ways. Margin is key!
3.] Get out alone.
I know this is difficult with a newborn, but it’s so important. Even if it’s only for an hour, make it consistent (i.e. weekly). Schedule it in, treat it like any other appointment. Whether you leave the babies with your spouse for a couple hours on a Saturday or hire someone for a couple hours on a week day morning [or both], make this a non-negotiable.
I made this negotiable for far too long and everyone suffered because of it. The wheels will not come off if you leave for an hour or two. Also? Use this time for you, for #soulmindbodyselfcare, not for running errands or “getting ahead.” You will be refreshed, refocused and ready to jump back in the trenches.
4.] Ask for help. And lots of it.
Seriously. I know everyone talks about this, but the reality is very few people actually do it. But you have to, for your sanity. It took me two kids to figure this out.
READ THIS: asking for help does not mean you aren’t capable or strong or enough. Asking for help simply means you are caring for yourself well. You are human and can’t be all things to all people at all times.
So, delegate, out-source, and ask your spouse to pitch in as much as possible. With grocery shopping, meals, house cleaning, laundry, etc. I loved having 2-3 dinners a week delivered ready-to-eat from Freshly. The rest of our meals were made by others, super simple or take out. Let’s be real. I had our groceries delivered from Instacart (worth any markup). I automated as much as I could: bill pay, subscription services for diapers and coffee and all the things, etc.
As the months pass, you will find your feet more and more, but don’t underestimate the power of asking for help in this newborn season.
5.] Get outside as much as possible.
Fresh air and sunlight are so good for the soul. And usually go a long way in soothing fussy babies and helping busy toddlers get their energy out. Go for a slow walk. Sit on the back porch. Soak up the morning sun with your warm drink of choice. Lay out a picnic blanket and rest with baby. Even if it’s just for short bursts during the day, get outside.
Feel your feet on the ground and the sun on your face. If you live in a colder climate, I feel you. Bundle up, tuck the baby in a carrier, walk around the block. Or just step outside for a few minutes and practice some deep breathing. Any time spent outside is well spent.
Now, are you ready for the super important thing it took me forever to learn?
6.] Limit alcohol, processed sugar/foods and caffeine and you will feel better + have more energy (even if you’re not sleeping well).
Trust me on this one. I fought it for so long. I tried to ease my stress and tiredness with a daily glass of wine, lots of sweets, and SO MUCH caffeine. But it only contributed to my fatigue and brain fog.
I know this tip isn’t sexy, but it’s true. Focus on a high protein/high fiber/high [good] fats breakfast (and meals in general). Eat lots of veggies. Drink lots of water and other liquids that are healing and support your immune system (golden milk lattes, bulletproof teas, bone broth, etc). You will feel better and sleep better (when those blissful moments do come).
I hope these tips are helpful. They are some of the things I wish I’d learned earlier. The newborn season is so short. It’s my hope that by encouraging you to care for yourself well during that season, you will be able to really enjoy it and soak it up before it’s gone.
Above all, know this, mama:
You are doing a hard + beautiful thing and you are doing great.
Also, check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.
