A while back on Instagram stories, I put up a poll asking if people struggled with knowing how to care for their minds. A majority said yes.
So, here I am to talk about caring for our mental health in specific and holistic ways. Because how we care for our minds affects how we care for our souls which affects how we care for our bodies. It’s all connected.
And even though caring for our minds can seem rather nebulous and elusive, it’s extremely important. And probably a lot more simple than we even realize. In this article I’m going to share ten ways we can care for our minds.
Let’s dive in…
1.) Do a social media detox.
Let’s start with the big hitters first. There’s no reason to beat around the bush. We live in a day and age when we are bombarded 24/7 with information. Non-stop news. Non-stop pings. Non-stop notifications. Non-stop. Of course this is going to affect our mental health.
Also, our social circles have exploded. They used to contain only immediate family and close friends with maybe a handful of distant relatives or acquaintances. Now with social media we are literally invited into intimate moments of peoples’ lives whom we’ve never met, will never meet. One minute you’re scrolling through the Explore tab on Instagram and the next minute you’re crying reading someone’s post about how their child just died of a brain tumor. We were not meant to carry the scope of burdens we carry.
This doesn’t even cover the struggle with comparison, remaining authentic, being present in our off-screen lives… Perhaps another blog post for another time? Yes, and here it is if you’d like to read it.
So let’s detox. Regularly. Delete the apps. Put the phone in airplane mode. Better yet, just turn it off. Unplug. Let it rest. It will be there tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now. Heck, what did we do before social media? We lived our lives, but with a whole lot less stress and mental overwhelm. Social media can be an amazing tool…when it’s used appropriately. Let’s use it but with firm boundaries.
TRY: designating a day or two a week where you are totally social media free. Maybe even take a longer sabbatical, like a week or two every quarter. See where it leads you. At the very least: turn off your notifications.
READ: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport and my blog post: Self-Care is a Social Media Detox
2.) Cut out sugar/alcohol/gluten/dairy.
I can’t talk about mental health with out talking about this. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it sucks. At first. Maybe for a long time. It’s not easy to give up our crutches, especially our mental ones. But it needs to be said: over consumption of sugar, alcohol, gluten and conventional dairy in particular are detrimental to our mental health. They contribute to so many diseases and cause inflammation to run rampant in the body.
I wouldn’t ask you to do anything I haven’t done. I did a strict elimination diet last May and June. I cut out sugar, alcohol, gluten and dairy (plus a few other foods I discovered I was sensitive to) for 60 days. It wasn’t easy, but I felt immeasurably better. I don’t advocate elimination diets for the long term; I definitely feel like the mental health benefits start to wane around the 60 day mark, simply because restriction can mess with your head.
But that elimination diet helped me see how good I could feel without all the junk. And I eat some of the items I cut out now sparingly, in moderate amounts, on special occasions. I don’t feel deprived, in fact, I feel free knowing that I’m caring for my body so I can feel my best.
I’m currently back to cutting gluten out entirely. I feel it’s what is best for me in this season, to support my body and promote deeper healing. Anyways, that’s a little bit of my journey just so you know I’m not just spouting off things you should do without the actions to back them up. I’m with you, mama. You’re not alone.
TRY: an elimination diet. Give up sugar, alcohol, gluten and dairy for at least 30 days, 60 days if you’re brave. See how you feel. It’s possible you might have more mental clarity than you’ve had in years.
READ: Do An Elimination Diet to Uncover Food Allergies or Sensitivities
3.) Purpose to keep actively learning.
I was totally burned out after I finished my masters degree. I read so many books. I wrote so many words. Then I met my husband and our whirlwind fairy-tale began. A little over a year later we welcomed our first child and then…life. It can get away from you if you’re not intentional.
What I’m proposing is to be active with your learning. Intentional. Focused. Make a list of your interests, passions, the subjects that really light you up. It can be anything. Remember: we’re not in school any more. Anything goes. There’s no failure or grades or task lists. Learn for the sheer love of learning. And when I say be active, I mean don’t be passive only. Because I believe we’re all learning all the time. Learning is something that comes naturally to us as human beings. But we can get burned out, distracted, overwhelmed, busy with life and we make the excuse that we just don’t have the time. But we do. We just have to carve it out. Be willing to actively learn. This will go so far when it comes to caring for our minds. What we put in is what we get out.
TRY: keeping a running list of books you want to read, courses you want to take, areas of interest you want to study. Get a library card, sign up for Audible, download podcast episodes so they’re ready to go. Create learning rhythms in your days: i.e. Tuesday evening is screen-free and you curl up with a book and a warm drink… or Saturday you steal away to a coffee shop to listen to a podcast or work on a course in something that interests you. Take it as far as you want to go.
READ: How We Learn by Benedict Cary
4.) Practice being present.
Let’s break this down so it doesn’t sound so “pie in the sky” as it always has for me. Especially if you’re a mom of little ones and you feel like your head is about to explode most of the time. Like HOW can I possibly practice being anymore present. I’m needed 24\7 and I just want to escape. I get it. I live it, too. Motherhood is the hardest and best thing I’ve ever done.
But I’ve realized that my mental health depends on being mindfully aware of the present moment. Here are some specific ways I’m working towards that goal:
- Limiting social media and screens in general
- Practicing yoga daily
- Accepting help so that I have more mental space to be present
- Learning how to breathe more deeply and fully
- Meditation
- Journaling my prayers
- Keeping a gratitude list
- Establishing key rhythms that anchor my days and weeks
TRY: any or all of the above. But also try making space and some time to sit down and really get honest with yourself: what do you need personally to feel more present in your life? Write down your answers and then take action. Everyone’s journey will be different.
READ: How to Breathe by Ashley Neese
5.) Daily brain dump
This is such a useful tool. I love to do this before bed, but really anytime that I am feeling overwhelmed. It’s just what it sounds like: I dump all the stuff that is swirling around in my brain out on a piece of paper or the notes app in my phone. When I see it all in black and white what I thought were big things look smaller and sometimes the seemingly smaller things jump out at me and I realize they need to be made priority.
TRY: grabbing a piece of paper or a notebook, a pen and a few minutes of quiet. Write down anything and everything that comes to mind, no matter how little or insignificant it seems. Clear it all out of your brain. Once it’s on paper, you can see it for what it is. Then you can prioritize or scratch it out or just let it be. Let it go.
READ: The One Thing by Gary Keller
6.) Set clear boundaries.
Few things have done more for my mental health than learning how to set boundaries. It’s not easy. It can be really hard and heart breaking. And it doesn’t come over night, it takes time and it’s really a life-long journey. But boundaries are essential to mental health. I went through an intense season after my second baby was born where everything came to a head. I struggled with being anxious, irritable, frazzled, depressed and angry… the truth is I still do at times because that’s life and we live in a broken world. But learning how to set boundaries has eased those things considerably. It’s made my confidence and peace soar. It’s been a game changer.
Here’s the truth, mama: you can’t be all things to all people all of the time. Something has to give. And if it’s always you, you’re going to burn out and end up resenting yourself and those you love most. And that’s no good for anyone.
TRY: identifying a problem area in your life, identify your limits in that area and then setting clear boundaries based on those limits. I wrote a whole blog post on this topic and you can read more here.
READ: Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
7.) De-clutter trouble spots.
They say that physical clutter is mental clutter, and I have found that to be very true. Maybe you have, too, mama? When my physical surroundings are chaotic, so is my mind. And when I can’t control all of the chaos, it certainly helps that I can control the amount of clutter in my life. We get to decide, mama, what stays and what goes. What is serving us, what we love and use and need, and what we don’t.
It is simply amazing to me how decluttering a physical space in my home or decluttering my phone apps or camera roll or people I follow on social media or bookmarks on my browser or events on my schedule or tasks on my to-do list instantly lightens my mental load as well.
If you feel the need to de-clutter your whole house, have at it. But if you don’t know where to start or want to start slow, start with the pain points, the trouble spots.
A few examples:
- The mudroom/laundry room situation.
- The kitchen cabinets.
- The bathroom vanity.
- The car.
- Your closet.
- The kiddos’ toys.
TRY: picking a trouble spot, setting the timer for 20 minutes and decluttering your heart out. Have three bags: throw away, give away and sell. When you’re done with your trouble spot or the timer goes off, take the three bags and do what you need to do with them: dump it in the trash can, put it in the donation box, or take pictures and list to sell.
READ: The More of Less by Joshua Becker
8.) Get outside.
Do you ever feel like your brain is on fire and you need some fresh air just to cool it off? Just me? Ha. Simply getting outside for 5-10 minutes makes such a difference in my mental health. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated, just stepping outside barefoot on the ground and taking some deep breaths helps so much. Sometimes I’m able to hike a local trail. Sometimes it’s a walk in the neighborhood. In the summer, we try to fit in several camping adventures or longer day hikes. In the winter, we bundle up to walk around the backyard or sit in a sunny window.
Any little bit helps. It helps me re-frame, reset. Just getting fresh air in my lungs can rejuvenate me, get me out of my own head and more into my body. Nature is an amazing thing.
TRY: going for a walk, doing some stretches outside while the kiddos play, laying on a blanket in the yard, sitting in a sunny window with a good book, planning a hike in a local nature preserve or – go big or go home – a trip to a sunny, outdoorsy destination like Glacier National Park.
READ: The Nature Fix by Florence Williams
9.) Give the screens a rest.
In our modern society almost everything we do revolves around some sort of screen or another. Which is amazing progress, some of it absolute magic, like FaceTiming loved ones who are far away. But screens can also steal our mental peace if we let them and even cause physical symptoms like headaches, eye strain, disrupted sleep from blue light exposure or disrupted cell function from EMF exposure. Just to name a few.
It’s refreshing and healing for our minds to do something that doesn’t involve a screen. Like journaling in an actual notebook with a pen. Writing a snail mail letter to a friend. Flipping through a magazine in the bath. Reading a hard copy book in bed at night. Let’s give our brains a break from over stimulation by giving the screens a rest.
TRY: any of the above. Also, try designating screen-free times in your days or weeks. i.e. no screens before you’ve done your morning rhythms or no screens two hours before bed. Maybe you do a screen-free evening a week where you read books, play games or talk instead.
READ: 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke
10.) Automate and outsource.
Relieve some of your mental load, mama. We do so much every day. It’s good and it’s beautiful, but it’s also hard and exhausting. There is nothing wrong with removing some of the burdens, delegating some of the tasks, outsourcing jobs or automating shipments of things you need and use all the time.
Every season is going to look different. Some seasons you’ll have more margin and energy and others will lean super heavy on the automation and outsourcing. And that’s okay. The important thing to remember is this: you were not meant to operate beyond a certain mental capacity without relief. When we’re over-extended and over-whelmed and over-worked all of the time, it will eventually lead to a break down.
So, accept the help, mama, but if the offers don’t come, go out and get it. Ask for it. Hire it. Pay for it. Because your mental health is worth every penny.
TRY: looking at your to do list and determining if anything can be outsourced or automated. Think about: having your groceries delivered, a meal service to deliver ready-made meals or meal kits to cover a couple nights a week, subscriptions to items you routinely purchase and need, a house cleaner to do a monthly deep clean, or automating all your bill pay.
READ: Less Doing, More Living by Ari Meisel
What do you think, mama? Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Listen to the companion podcast episode HERE.
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Let’s care for ourselves,
Hannah
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Everything health + wellness I share here is based on my own personal experience and research. Be your own advocate, mama. Search, ask, dig. Research and find the answers you need. You are worth it.