Category: #smbsfreestyle

Self-Care is Placing Our Hope in the One Who Will Never Let Us Go [+ Three Ways to Refocus Your Hope When It Starts to Drift]

Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good. Genesis‬ ‭50:19 MSG‬‬

Last night I was praying. Which has honestly been very difficult lately. What do I pray? At one point, I found myself repeating the Lord’s Prayer through tears in the shower. Because the words just won’t come. I haven’t known what to ask for.

But last night the words from Genesis came to my mind and I prayed them out loud. Lord Jesus, in these times, let what Satan intends for evil be turned into good. For Your glory. Amen.

And I felt a peace resonating in my soul. Confirmation that what I was asking was God’s will and I have never been more convinced that: He is doing it. It’s already done.

We are living in interesting times. That seems like the understatement of the year. I know the phrase “flipping the script” has been trending and, boy, here we are and has it ever.

So, what now, mama? I’ve seen so much negativity and “woe is me” and panic and fear being spread, I felt the need to write this out. In clear, calm words. If even one mama reads it and is uplifted, that’s all I’m asking for:

We were born for this.

Don’t think we weren’t, that you weren’t. Because we were, mama. You and I, we were born at the perfect time in history. There are no mistakes with God. Just as Esther, we are here, right now, breathing in and out, for such a time as this. Don’t doubt it.

We might feel weak, overwhelmed, afraid, but so has anyone who has ever lived through interesting times. That doesn’t mean we weren’t born for this, it doesn’t mean we should give up, give in to panic, throw up our hands in resignation.

The world and this country is being shaken, sifted, but what does God’s Word say?

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

As I’m sure is becoming quite clear, things and people will let us down, “normal” can shift wildly into the unknown at any moment, and what seemed like it would last forever can be completely taken away.

So, here’s the question I’m asking myself (and maybe you are, too, mama?): Where are my eyes focused? My mind? My heart?

Here are three key ways I am re-focusing when I find my eyes, my mind or my heart drifting:

1.) Go back to the Word. What does God say is true? What has His Word shown us? In the darkest of times (think: the Cross), there was still hope. There is always hope because of Jesus.

It is no mistake that all of this is happening in the days leading up to our remembrance of what Jesus did for us – His death on the cross for the sins of the world and His resurrection.

All seemed lost, but it wasn’t. Nothing made sense, but He had a plan. The darkness threatened to take over, but it didn’t. It looked like death had won, BUT THEN HE ROSE AGAIN.

All the hope we need for these interesting times we’re living in is found in Jesus. He is our source. Don’t forget it, mama.

2.) Turn off the news and unfollow anyone who chooses to spread panic or fear.

Talk about social distancing – now is the time to pull back from anyone who pulls you down into despair. By any avenue. The news, social media, acquaintances or personal relationships. Shut it down. Turn it off. Tell them to stop.

Not because we want to live in denial, our heads buried in the sand like ostriches. No – BECAUSE WE KNOW THE TRUTH. And the truth is what sets us free in times when we feel hemmed in.

There is no panic or fear or difficulty or darkness that was not answered by what Jesus did on the cross, by what He did when He walked out of the tomb whole and alive.

Now more than ever we need to be vigilant that we’re not looking to other things or people for our hope or our peace. So, turn it off, unfollow, shut it down, mama.

3.) Do something to care for yourself. You know I was going to say this. Choose that one thing that grounds you instantly.

Is it a detox bath? Walking outside barefoot? A yoga session? Prayer journaling? A power nap? Meditating for five minutes? Making a warm drink? Reading a book? Decluttering something? Turning up the music? Making something to fuel your body?

Whatever it is, do it every day. And choose to make it an active form of re-focusing for yourself. As you’re soaking, walking, flowing, praying…call your eyes, your mind, your heart back where they belong.

The ultimate act of self-care is reminding ourselves where our true hope lies.

Hint: it’s not in our self or anyone or anything else.

It’s in Jesus. The One who died and rose again. The One who lives so that we might live. The One who is the Beginning and the End. The One who is not surprised by these interesting times.

The One – the only One – who can take what Satan means for evil and turn it into something good for us. Amen.

This post is part of the #smbsfreestyle series. Where I write a stream of consciousness type post once a month. Less structured and more journal entry feel. The topic(s) will be something from my heart about everything from motherhood to self-care (of course) to health + wellness and beyond. More like a relaxed conversation between friends and less like a “how to” lecture with bullet points.

I’m over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Self-Care is a Social Media Detox [A Candid Conversation About Why + a Few Tips on How]

Last week I wrote a post on 10 Ways to Care for Your Mind. As number one, I suggested doing a social media detox. Easier said than done, I know. And what exactly does that look like? I’m going to #smbsfreestyle this post, so it’s going to read more casual, as if we’re having a face-to-face conversation. I’m going to share why I regularly detox from social media and a few tips for how. It may not be exactly how you want to go about it, but I’m just going to put my two cents out there and you can use it in parts or none at all.

There is an invisible tether between our brains and social media. A magnetic pull in moments of boredom, moments of waiting, moments of overwhelm…all kind of moments. Even the beautiful ones, the precious ones that we should probably just hold close to our hearts instead of broadcasting to the world.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always manage my relationship with social media well. I’m human and I struggle, too. With the silence, the gap, the desire to check out, the need for validation, looking for connection in a screen instead of my loved ones standing in front of me.

Here is my “why”: I can see a direct correlation between my well-being on every level and how much time I’m spending on social media.

If you asked me: “So, HOW do you do a social media detox? What does it look like?”

First, I’d tell you, there’s no right or wrong way. Second, I’d share a few tips I’ve picked up along the way…

Tip #1:

Delete the app(s). If I need a hard reset (which I do often), I delete the app(s). Usually every weekend. But then I take longer sabbaticals every quarter or so, for at least two weeks, sometimes longer.

I use that time to put my phone away and focus solely on what’s in front of me at the moment. I spend a lot of un-distracted time with my people, a lot of time reading, maybe watching some shows, listening to podcasts and writing. I seem to get huge amounts of inspiration and light bulb moments when I’m off social media. Go figure. Fresh ideas mean lots of note taking, journaling, thinking. I also spend time connecting with friends in real life as much as possible and via text or email.

I highly recommend the hard resets (just like our computer or our phone needs to reboot) even if it’s just for one day a week or the weekend or one weekend a month. You decide. It’s a great breather, allows the mind to clear, the thoughts to settle, everything really to just REST. There’s something about knowing the app isn’t even on my phone that frees me from the constant pressure to absorb information, create content, respond to every notification…

But here’s the thing, you don’t have to be doing a hard reset in order to detox from social media. Just like our bodies are always detoxing by default, it makes the most sense for us to be detoxing daily from social media even while we’re using it – especially while we’re using it – and not just waiting for those times we delete the app(s). We need to be supporting ourselves by limiting the “toxins” we come in contact with and making sure all those detox pathways are open.

Which leads me to…

Tip #2:

Turn off notifications. Do you really need to know the second someone likes your post? Nope. In fact, you can even take this a step further and turn off all your phone notifications. Quiet the mental chatter a little. The only time my phone makes a sound (unless I choose to turn my ringer on) is when my husband texts or calls. He gets the special bypass because he’s my priority. Plus the sound of his texts and calls make my heart flutter instead of my adrenaline rush. Amen?

Tip #3:

Choose your social media platform(s) wisely. I am only on one social media platform because I know that’s all that I can handle. Years ago I quit Facebook. I tried Twitter and couldn’t figure out the point. Instagram stuck because I love photography and I’m a visual person. Now TikTok is the rage and I’m just sitting over here watching like I guess this is what it feels like to be old, because I don’t get it.

Anyways, I think a lot of that has to do with me. I get overwhelmed by input very easily. Paralyzed would actually be a better word. Ha. Even just being on one platform, I think about getting off multiple times a week. Just being honest. The only thing that makes me stay… well, two things really: 1.) I believe it is an amazing tool to share my message of self-care and 2.) I’ve made some genuine connections that I would miss.

So, honestly evaluate why you’re on the platforms you’re on. Make sure they are adding more than they’re subtracting from your life. Have clear reasons why you’re staying if you choose to stay.

Tip #4

Set clear boundaries when you’re in the app(s). I only post and story on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I communicate this to my followers so they know my rhythms and what to expect. It also helps me stay accountable to my boundaries. I might hop on to answer DM’s or comments, but I don’t actively “do” social media the other days.

Even still, I am no stranger to the scroll. Some days are hard and long and I’m tired and my brain is mush and somehow scrolling seems easier than being present right where I am. Which sounds so silly as I type that out. I always feel like crap afterwards, never better. There’s never a time when I’ve escaped to the scroll and afterwards been like “Whoohoo! I’m ready to take on life again, I’ve got so much energy now!” Nope. Not once. So, quit the escapism scroll, Hannah. Just quit it.

Caution: mini tangent rant ahead. The Explore tab is my nemesis. I always feel so weird scrolling through peoples’ faces, peoples’ lives when I can’t possibly know or care or connect with more than a tiny handful of them. So, the question I always come away with is: why? I mean, I understand why the Explore tab is there, but why should I scroll through it? I can’t think of a single good reason.

Tip #5

Be very selective about who you follow. I follow very few people for the simple fact that there’s only so much information I can take in on any given day. Also, I am very sensitive to outside stimuli, so I curate my feed to be upbeat, truth-filled, real. I routinely purge who I follow. It’s just how I do because life is too short and, really, it’s just an app.

Let’s all repeat that together: It’s JuSt a FreaKin’ ApP! Puts everything into perspective, right?

Anything else to add, mama? Let me know in the comments.

This post is part of the #smbsfreestyle series. Where I write a stream of consciousness type post once a month. Less structured and more journal entry feel. The topic(s) will be something from my heart about everything from motherhood to self-care (of course) to health + wellness and beyond. More like a relaxed conversation between friends and less like a “how to” lecture with bullet points.

I’m over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Redefining Self-Care For A New Generation of Mamas

I’ve been thinking a lot about the term “self-care.“ It’s been trending, along with terms like “self-love”, for a while. When Soul Mind Body Selfcare was born at the beginning of the year, I thought long and hard about the terms I wanted to use and self-care kept coming to the surface. Even though I don’t particularly care for the term. I’ve always found it to be nebulous. I’m also an enneagram 4 so I don’t like latching onto anything that’s trending. Ha.

But there’s really no other term that describes what I wanted to communicate more accurately than self-care – that is, the act of caring for oneself. And I realized that if it’s nebulous and trendy and doesn’t resonate with the average mama then I’m just going to have to redefine it.

And that’s why I’m here. Writing in this space every week, emailing my list every week, showing up on Instagram every week. Because I am passionate about taking a nebulous, over-used term and reviving it, re-making it, REDEFINING it.

Self-care is caring for your soul, mind and body in consistent, tangible, and life-changing ways.

Self-care is way less about occasional splurges of money + time (getting a balayage or a gel manicure, i.e. what most people think of when they hear the term) and way more about daily, consistent choices to care for yourself in ways that cost very little money + make use of small pockets of time.

I used to make the excuse that I didn’t have enough time or money, that only five minutes of self-care wasn’t going to make any difference in the long run, that if I didn’t lay down the big bucks it wouldn’t count. I thought it had to be some grand production that took hours of time and lots of money I didn’t want to spend.

But that’s not what self-care is, mama. Self-care should never feel like a burden or be just one more thing on your to-do list. If it is, it’s not self-care. The read-deal #soulmindbodyselfcare makes us feel better, lighter. And it happens most often in the pockets of time sprinkled throughout our days. Five minutes here, two minutes there, ten minutes here…often in simple ways that don’t cost a dime. But it all adds up, it all counts, it all makes a difference. And it all qualifies as self-care. Just as much as the occasional splurges of time and money qualify as self-care, perhaps even more than those.

Self-care is often less flashy than massages and facials (although those things can be amazing if they fill your cup) and more down-to-earth like: optimizing your sleep, managing your stress, hydrating, taking the time to get dressed and put on makeup for the day, doing a brain dump, setting healthy boundaries, decluttering your mind and surroundings, practicing gratitude, fueling your body well, supporting your body’s detox pathways through movement and baths, letting go of what doesn’t matter, creating self-care routines, simplifying your wardrobe choices, and asking yourself the right questions. Just to name a few. Ha.

Self-care is about what fills YOUR cup, what tends to the deepest parts of who YOU are, what meets YOUR needs in the very best ways.

And so, self-care isn’t nebulous after all. It is, in fact, very personal and specific. And it’s not as trendy as the term suggests. It’s been around as long as mamas have been caring for their babies.

And if that’s the case, I think it’s best to embrace it. Clarify it, yes. Redefine it, absolutely. But embrace it all the same.

This post is the first in a new series I’m calling #smbsfreestyle. Where I write a stream of consciousness type post once a month. Less structured and more journal entry feel. The topic(s) will be something from my heart about everything from motherhood to self-care (of course) to health + wellness and beyond. More like a relaxed conversation between friends and less like a “how to” lecture with bullet points.

What do you think, mama? What jumps to mind first when you think of self-care? Has that been working for you? What part of the post resonated with you most? I’d love to hear in the comments!

I’m over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah