Category: Selfcare in Practice

6 Ways to Make Time for Self-Care With Littles at Home [+ Tips for Keeping Them Happy When You Need Some Peace]

Self-care has never been more important. The harder the times, the tighter the squeeze, the higher the pressure – the more we need #soulmindbodyselfcare.

Now is not the time to skimp on caring for ourselves. But I know, mama, you might be asking: how??? How do I layer on the self-care when I have my kids with me all day.

Luckily, I’ve spent the last several years dialing down on this. I’ve got three babies (+ a fourth on the way!) at home with me every day, and I have learned how to care for myself in consistent, tangible, life-changing ways. It can be done.

In fact, it’s become my mission to redefine self-care and help as many mamas as I can care for themselves well.

So, let’s dive into 6 ways you can care for yourself with littles at home…

1.) Think in 5-10 minute increments sprinkled throughout the day.

Maybe you’re used to working with larger chunks of time. I know I’ve been used to getting out every Saturday for several hours alone and that’s not really happening right now. It’s been an adjustment, but I’ve just added in several more pockets of self-care into my days.

So, instead of thinking you need two consecutive hours alone, take that two hours and break it down into 5-10 minute increments you sprinkle throughout your day.

Here are some of mine:

My morning skincare routine (5 minutes)
Making and drinking a warm drink (10 minutes)
Sitting in the sunshine while the kids play (10 minutes)
Yoga or a HIIT workout (10 minutes, 2 x’s a day)
Brain dump (5 minutes)
Read a chapter (5 minutes)

Bonus: by approaching self-care in this way, you’ll effectively log way more time caring for yourself on a day-to-day basis than you would trying to fit in big chunks of time every once in a while. A little goes a long way.

2.) Ask your husband for help.

This one seems like a no-brainer, but I think it’s probably the most underutilized. I know it was for me for years. I didn’t know how to ask for help. I thought asking for help meant I was failing. I also thought that if I had to ask for help, spell it out, maybe my husband didn’t really care for me.

After 8 years of marriage and almost as many of motherhood, I’ve learned that asking for help is necessary to my well-being and the well-being of my family. I’ve learned that just because I ask for help doesn’t mean I’m failing. In fact, it shows I’m growing and learning and that I’m strong enough to admit I can’t do everything on my own. I’ve learned that (news flash) men and women are wired differently. Just because your husband doesn’t jump in and do things before you ask doesn’t mean he doesn’t care; it means he’s human and he can’t read your mind.

Remember: ask your husband for help and ask often. It’s okay to spell out what you need! I think most men appreciate not being left to guess at details. Be calm, be clear and tell him how thankful you are for his help. Over time, he’ll adjust to the rhythms, too, and I think you’ll find him jumping in without being asked. At this point in marriage and parenthood, my husband and I are more of a team than ever. We tag team through the days: I’ll cook and he does the dishes. I wrangle kiddos in the morning, he’ll take over bath time.

Bonus: don’t just stop with your husband. Ask your mom for help, your mother-in-law, your sister, a close friend. And delegate to grocery delivery or pick up services, take out on the rough days, anything that can automate extra tasks. Get creative. Determine what you need and find the help to make it happen. No martyr mentality allowed!

3.) Create rhythms that work for you.

I’ve talked about how helpful this is in this post and this post. And I’ve also created The Rhythms Guide just with you in mind.

Creating your daily, weekly + self-care rhythms will help everything flow smoother. Rhythms create structure without suffocating, provide framework while retaining lots of flexibility.

Here’s a peek at our daily rhythms:

  • Morning rituals – slow breakfast, going out front to sit in the sun, run and play and water our plants, and free play inside ( I usually tell them to find something creative to do)
  • Do at least 1 load of laundry to completion, clean 1 space – the kids help me fold and put away laundry, empty the dishwasher, vacuum, tidy their room and the house when needed. I usually concentrate on decluttering or cleaning one space each day.
  • Morning basket and concentrated learning time for an hour or so.
  • Outside or free play for a couple of hours.
  • Lunch time around noon.
  • Quiet time/nap time – usually from 1:30-3:30. This is when I fit in more concentrated self-care.
  • Outside or free play for a few hours.
  • Bedtime rituals – baths, free play, read aloud, singing songs and praying together.

One of the big things reflected in our daily rhythms is a back and forth type pattern. I saw someone use the term “inchworm” the other day. It’s this idea of doing something together (morning basket), then letting the kiddos do something on their own (free play) and back + forth like that. Of course I’m always there to provide supervision and direction when needed, but I’m not dictating every moment of every day.

Nor should we, mama! We are not responsible for the 24/7 entertainment of our children. I think this might be where a lot of disconnect happens between motherhood and self-care. Our kids don’t need us hovering, providing constant diversion, filling up every spare moment with activity. No! Mama, we need that extra energy, those spare moments to use in caring for ourselves.

Let the kiddos go, let them free play while you make and sip a warm drink, while you sit and journal or do a brain dump, while you do a work out video, while you read a chapter from a book, while you catch up on some nagging housework (#thisisselfcare).

Bonus: Once you work your way through this blog post, take #3 (establishing daily rhythms) and #6 (creating a daily self-care plan) and marry them together.

For example, I take the following list of self-care items and fit them in around our daily rhythms:

  • Morning skincare routine
  • Make and sip a warm drink
  • Move for 10-15 minutes
  • Read, nap, write, watch a show, lay out in the sun at quiet time
  • Soak in a detox bath

4.) Institute a daily quiet time.

I could not thrive in motherhood without this consistent break in the middle of the day. We usually have ours from 1:30-3:30pm and that gives me a larger chunk of time to practice self-care. I’ll do a yoga flow, take a shower, take a nap, lay out in the sunshine, read, watch a show, take care of nagging tasks, paint my nails, declutter something, etc.

My youngest naps, but my oldest two either play quietly or read books. I usually separate them and put my oldest at the dining room table playing legos and my middle one in her bed with quiet toys and books.

We have practiced this rhythm for a long time and it hasn’t always been easy. In fact, we still have our rough days. But it’s one of the few lines I’ve drawn in the sand because I firmly believe that we all need that break. They need down time for their little bodies and brains, I need down time for my sanity + #soulmindbodyselfcare, and we all need space from each other or we start to go a little crazy. So, don’t give up if it doesn’t work out seamlessly the first day or even the 30th day. Truly. It’s worth it.

Bonus: here are a few tips for a successful quiet time…

1.) Ease into it, starting with 30 minutes and working your way up to the full two hours over the course of a week or so.

2.) Remove yourself, mama. Send yourself back to your room, close the door and rest. Take a bath. Crawl into bed. Read a book. Do some yoga. But don’t stay out in the common area where you can hear every little sound or where they can easily access you. I tell my kids they can’t come into my room unless someone is bleeding or dying. Ha.

3) Stand your ground. Be firm. Explain the reason for quiet time and enforce consequences. Don’t give up. Eventually they will get it, even if it doesn’t look perfect.

5.) Practice self-care WITH them.

Whether you’ve grown into having kids at home or it’s been thrust on you overnight, learning to care for yourself while at the same time caring for the little people in your life is going to take time. It’s going to take re-adjusting. It’s going to take flexibility. And it’s going to take lots of grace.

Here’s an example: if you’ve been used to going to the gym and you miss your hour long, uninterrupted workouts, it’s going to take a little while to adjust to working out at home with littles. Maybe you already have? But if you can’t find that hour chunk of time in your day and you’re really missing it, try moving WITH your kids. Do a workout video on the back porch while they play, go for a walk or jog with the kids and intersperse sets of pushups, sit ups or sprints, turn on a yoga video in the living room and invite them to do it with you.

Other ideas for practicing self-care with kids:

  • Involve your kiddos in making a delicious lunch or an after-dinner treat.
  • Lay out and soak up some vitamin D while the kiddos play in the backyard. Bring your book and iced tea!
  • Lay on the couch and watch a family friendly show. Pop popcorn, bring all the blankets.

Bonus: If you crave alone time while you work out (or while you do any particular item of self-care), save it for quiet time. When the kids are settled, turn on that workout video, do a long yoga flow, or get out on a solo walk/jog while your husband holds down the fort. It’s necessary and good to be alone.

6.) Make your self-care plan the night before.

It helps so much to have a plan and it helps so much to have that plan written down before a new day starts.

First, after you’re cozy in bed for the night, pull out a notebook and pen. Second, take a minute and determine your top 3 self-care items for the next day. What do you need the most? Write those down. It doesn’t have to be just three, but I’ve found three to be a manageable start. Finally, determine where those self-care items are going to fit into your day. Schedule them in.

Are you craving extra time to get dressed and do your hair and makeup? Then make sure to plan accordingly and get up a little bit earlier. Do you love to cook and want to spend time solo in the kitchen with a cocktail and some music playing? Make it happen at lunch time if that works better than cramping the bedtime routine. If your husband is at home, see if he can wrangle the kids or simply send them out to play.

Bonus: if you’d like more help creating a self-care routine, check out this post.

Here are some of my favorite tips for keeping the kiddos happy when you need some peace:

Tip #1: Room time or outside time.

Institute “room time” when you need to concentrate on someone/something else. For toddlers, make it fun, put up the baby gate, make sure the room is kid proof (as much as humanly possible 😆) and set a timer. That way the toddler is contained + safe and you have a little peace of mind + focus. If your children are older, tell them they can play with the door closed, set the timer if it helps.

Have set time(s) every day you send the kids outside to play. This way the kids know to expect it and you can count on that time to practice self-care and get some things done. I like to leave a window open so I can hear what’s going on outside while going about my business.

In case you need some more ideas for keeping the kiddos busy inside and out, here are some activities my kiddos love: Kiwi Crate, paint by sticker books, sidewalk chalk (encourage them to draw roads and a city for their cars), bubbles with a giant wand, magnatiles, puzzles, Art Hub on Youtube

Tip #2: Don’t fear the screens.

Don’t fear the screens, mama. They can be super useful and amazing tools. Designate a favorite show or kid friendly app for times you need to nurse/care for the baby, make a phone call, practice self-care or do anything that requires undivided attention.

Favorite Shows: Word World, the original Magic School Bus, SuperBook, Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers, Duck Tales

Favorite Apps: Joy Doodle, Little Writer and the YouVersion Bible app for Kids. We’re also trying out ABC Mouse and the kids really love it so far.

Tip #3: Limit the toys.

It sounds counter-intuitive, but it really works. Kids tend to play better with fewer choices. Divide the toys in half (or so) and put one half in the garage or up in the closet in storage. Also, now might be a good time to declutter/purge any toys that are broken, missing parts or aren’t being used regularly.

You can rotate the divided toys whenever you want. We usually rotate every month or so. And sometimes I put a lot more than half up. My rule when deciding how much to keep down is: do I want to bend over and pick that up or supervise the clean up? If I don’t, then it goes up or goes away. Any time I feel overwhelmed by messes, I know the toys need to be reduced.

Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. 

For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram. And if you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same. Also, check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Self-Care is Placing Our Hope in the One Who Will Never Let Us Go [+ Three Ways to Refocus Your Hope When It Starts to Drift]

Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good. Genesis‬ ‭50:19 MSG‬‬

Last night I was praying. Which has honestly been very difficult lately. What do I pray? At one point, I found myself repeating the Lord’s Prayer through tears in the shower. Because the words just won’t come. I haven’t known what to ask for.

But last night the words from Genesis came to my mind and I prayed them out loud. Lord Jesus, in these times, let what Satan intends for evil be turned into good. For Your glory. Amen.

And I felt a peace resonating in my soul. Confirmation that what I was asking was God’s will and I have never been more convinced that: He is doing it. It’s already done.

We are living in interesting times. That seems like the understatement of the year. I know the phrase “flipping the script” has been trending and, boy, here we are and has it ever.

So, what now, mama? I’ve seen so much negativity and “woe is me” and panic and fear being spread, I felt the need to write this out. In clear, calm words. If even one mama reads it and is uplifted, that’s all I’m asking for:

We were born for this.

Don’t think we weren’t, that you weren’t. Because we were, mama. You and I, we were born at the perfect time in history. There are no mistakes with God. Just as Esther, we are here, right now, breathing in and out, for such a time as this. Don’t doubt it.

We might feel weak, overwhelmed, afraid, but so has anyone who has ever lived through interesting times. That doesn’t mean we weren’t born for this, it doesn’t mean we should give up, give in to panic, throw up our hands in resignation.

The world and this country is being shaken, sifted, but what does God’s Word say?

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

As I’m sure is becoming quite clear, things and people will let us down, “normal” can shift wildly into the unknown at any moment, and what seemed like it would last forever can be completely taken away.

So, here’s the question I’m asking myself (and maybe you are, too, mama?): Where are my eyes focused? My mind? My heart?

Here are three key ways I am re-focusing when I find my eyes, my mind or my heart drifting:

1.) Go back to the Word. What does God say is true? What has His Word shown us? In the darkest of times (think: the Cross), there was still hope. There is always hope because of Jesus.

It is no mistake that all of this is happening in the days leading up to our remembrance of what Jesus did for us – His death on the cross for the sins of the world and His resurrection.

All seemed lost, but it wasn’t. Nothing made sense, but He had a plan. The darkness threatened to take over, but it didn’t. It looked like death had won, BUT THEN HE ROSE AGAIN.

All the hope we need for these interesting times we’re living in is found in Jesus. He is our source. Don’t forget it, mama.

2.) Turn off the news and unfollow anyone who chooses to spread panic or fear.

Talk about social distancing – now is the time to pull back from anyone who pulls you down into despair. By any avenue. The news, social media, acquaintances or personal relationships. Shut it down. Turn it off. Tell them to stop.

Not because we want to live in denial, our heads buried in the sand like ostriches. No – BECAUSE WE KNOW THE TRUTH. And the truth is what sets us free in times when we feel hemmed in.

There is no panic or fear or difficulty or darkness that was not answered by what Jesus did on the cross, by what He did when He walked out of the tomb whole and alive.

Now more than ever we need to be vigilant that we’re not looking to other things or people for our hope or our peace. So, turn it off, unfollow, shut it down, mama.

3.) Do something to care for yourself. You know I was going to say this. Choose that one thing that grounds you instantly.

Is it a detox bath? Walking outside barefoot? A yoga session? Prayer journaling? A power nap? Meditating for five minutes? Making a warm drink? Reading a book? Decluttering something? Turning up the music? Making something to fuel your body?

Whatever it is, do it every day. And choose to make it an active form of re-focusing for yourself. As you’re soaking, walking, flowing, praying…call your eyes, your mind, your heart back where they belong.

The ultimate act of self-care is reminding ourselves where our true hope lies.

Hint: it’s not in our self or anyone or anything else.

It’s in Jesus. The One who died and rose again. The One who lives so that we might live. The One who is the Beginning and the End. The One who is not surprised by these interesting times.

The One – the only One – who can take what Satan means for evil and turn it into something good for us. Amen.

This post is part of the #smbsfreestyle series. Where I write a stream of consciousness type post once a month. Less structured and more journal entry feel. The topic(s) will be something from my heart about everything from motherhood to self-care (of course) to health + wellness and beyond. More like a relaxed conversation between friends and less like a “how to” lecture with bullet points.

I’m over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Practical Ways to Care for Yourself + Your Family in Uncertain Times [Deep Breath, Mama – You’ve Got This]

Before we dive in, pause with me for just a moment, close your eyes and breathe in deep for four seconds, hold for three, and exhale all the air from your lungs for six.

Need more? That’s okay. Take a couple of minutes and repeat as many times as you need. I’ll be here.

Okay, ready? I know the world feels a little crazy and uncertain right now. Eerie is the word that came to my mind as I pushed my cart down the aisles at Costco. We live in interesting times.

So, I want to share some light, spread some peace, sprinkle a little grace into your current circumstances. I’m not sure where you are or what has changed for you over night, but I know that where we are in Washington State, schools have closed, gatherings of more than 250 have been suspended and social distancing is being encouraged. And, no, we don’t have any toilet paper here either. Ha.

I’m going to share with you some practical ways you can care for yourself + your family right now, today.

First up are some health + wellness tips and resources.

These are things I’m do on an on going basis and then ramp up as needed during winter or flu/novel corona-virus season:

  • Get plenty of sleep. Enforce early bedtimes, try not to skip any naps and, encourage a daily quiet time for everyone. Ours is usually from 1:30-3:30pm. My youngest naps, but my oldest two either play quietly or read books in separate places. I try my best to make this a time of rest for myself as well.
  • Reduce sugar + processed foods. Did you know that consuming sugar can reduce the effectiveness of our immune system up to 40% for up to 5 hours? Crazy, right? And processed foods don’t help either. They place an extra burden on our digestive systems and livers and can cause inflammation (which we don’t need if we’re trying to stay in the best health).
  • Focus on lots of fresh veggies and fruits. One of the things we do almost daily is make a green smoothie. If you need some fresh inspo, here are three of our favorite immune boosting recipes: Chocolate Cherry Green Smoothie, Beet-licious Smoothie and my Sunshine Smoothie.
  • Stay hydrated. This is so important! Staying hydrated supports every system in the body and can help flush out unwanted toxins. Mix it up with fresh squeezed lemon, frozen fruit, herbal teas, or other healthy + healing warm drinks.
  • Wash hands thoroughly. This goes without saying, but it’s so important. Encourage your kiddos to wash their hands as often as possible, keep their nails short and don’t forget to change out hand towels regularly. This is my favorite non-toxic all-purpose soap/cleaner/detergent/allthethings. I carry a small spray bottle in my purse and use it as a sanitizer, too.
  • Get outside + get fresh air and sunshine. Truly the best medicine! Let their little bodies soak up the vitamin D, clear their lungs and move their bodies. You, too, mama! Especially on the long days when cabin fever starts to set in, take advantage of the great out doors. Maybe try a local hike or walking path or even lay a picnic blanket down in your own backyard.
  • Get that lymph moving! Move daily (walk/yoga/HIIT) + practice dry brushing. Our lymphatic system plays a vital role in removing toxins from our bodies.
  • Use saline or Xlear to cleanse the nasal passages to prevent viruses from taking hold. I do this after any of us have been out and about.
  • Practice stress reduction. Deep breathing, yoga, meditation, journaling, detox baths, time alone, curling up with a favorite book or show for some down time. Stress wreaks havoc on our immune system, so do your best to reduce it as much as possible.

In addition to all of the above and a whole foods diet, here are some supplements I use to support our immune systems:

Colloidal Silver
Vitamin C
Echinacea/Goldenseal
My favorite Morning Multivitamin
Homemade Elderberry Syrup
The best kids’ Probiotic
Vitamin D3/K2
Propolis throat spray
Xlear

Here are a few more health + wellness resources I hope you find helpful + empowering:

A wonderfully comprehensive + informative blog post on this corona-virus and what measures we can be taking to protect our families. I believe Dr. Song is keeping that post updated with current statistics, travel precautions, etc.

This is an awesome thirteen minute video put out out by my friend and board certified holistic practitioner, Lindsay Amilian. It’s filled with great information and practical advice for preventive measures you can take to care for your family.

This next part is for the “accidental homeschooler”: my top tips + ideas for navigating this season with your kiddos at home.

I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old I am currently homeschooling; the 2 year old is just along for the ride at this point. But…aren’t we all? Ha.

First, mama, remember that children are born learners + they don’t need anything fancy from you. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on curriculum or supplies or kill yourself planning the perfect crafts or activities. In fact, it’s okay if they get bored! That’s a healthy + necessary precursor to learning and ingenuity and independence.

Second, repeat the deep breath sequence from the start of this blog post if you need to and give yourself lots of grace! Lots and lots of grace! We are all in this together, even us mamas who chose the homeschool path. There is no right or wrong way to go about this.

My top tip would be to set aside a few minutes, print out my Rhythms Guide, and figure out how you want your days and weeks to look in this season. Start there. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just get a rough framework down on paper (the last page of the guide has a blank template for you to use!). This is going to help you so much by providing a general flow for you as well as some anchors that will keep you from drifting.

We have a few learning rhythms we incorporate into our days/weeks:

Daily

1.) My kiddos practice life skills by helping out with chores around the house. I encourage you to include your kiddos in the work that has to be done around the house. Things get messy when kids are always in the house (good messy, but still messy), so include them in the sweeping/dusting/vacuuming/mopping. Have them help fold and put away laundry, take out the trash, make their beds, empty the dishwasher, whatever tasks you deem age appropriate. Just remember: kiddos are eager to feel needed and apart of something bigger than themselves, as we all are. Also, they are so, so smart and capable. Don’t be afraid to push them outside their comfort zone a little bit.

2.) We have quiet time from 1:30-3:30pm. My youngest naps, but my oldest two either play quietly or read books. I usually separate them and put my oldest at the dining room table playing legos and my middle one in her bed with quiet toys and books.

We have practiced this rhythm for a long time and it hasn’t always been easy. In fact, we still have our rough days. But it’s one of the few lines I’ve drawn in the sand because I firmly believe that we all need that break. They need down time for their little bodies and brains, I need down time for my sanity + #soulmindbodyselfcare, and we all need space from each other or we start to go a little crazy. So, don’t give up if it doesn’t work out seamlessly the first day or even the 30th day. Truly. It’s worth it.

Here are a few tips for a successful quiet time:

1.) Ease into it, starting with 30 minutes and working your way up to the full two hours over the course of a week or so.

2.) Remove yourself, mama. Send yourself back to your room, close the door and rest. Take a bath. Crawl into bed. Read a book. Do some yoga. But don’t stay out in the common area where you can hear every little sound or where they can easily access you. I tell my kids they can’t come into my room unless someone is bleeding or dying. Ha.

3) Stand your ground. Be firm. Explain the reason for quiet time and enforce consequences. Don’t give up. Eventually they will get it, even if it doesn’t look perfect.

Weekly

Monday: morning basket. I curate a basket filled with books to read, a game to play, these cards from Kids Read Truth, art supplies, and our day board that reviews the weather/seasons/months/days of the week and telling time.

Tuesday: tea time + Bible study. I usually do this with just the big kids while my youngest is finishing up his nap. I brew some tea, make a little treat and we work through our Kids Read Truth Hebrews study together. Sometimes I read a book afterwards or we just talk.

Wednesday: adventure. Which I know is kind of limited right now. I’m not really taking the kiddos out anywhere, save for a very selective park date. This would be a great day for a local hike or an extended walk in the neighborhood.

Thursday: art time + read aloud. Just what it sounds like. I set them up with paints/markers/playdough and let them create while I read.

Friday: free. I like to keep one day open. Usually I do a bigger cleaning push on this day and they spend more time outside in free play. You could also do morning basket again or repeat another one of the rhythms that especially resonates with you.

Here are a few other ideas:

  • Get outside as much as possible. Fresh air and sunshine and free play are the best medicine! My kids spend 4-5 hours outside each day. When the weather is extra beautiful, it goes up to 6-7 hours and we eat our meals outside, too. If your kiddos aren’t used to extended time outside, work up slowly. It will take time. And, depending on their age, you might need to let them in for lots of potty breaks and feed them snacks periodically. Ha. Other ideas: blow bubbles (my kids love this wand), take them on a local hike or go for a long walk/bike ride in the neighborhood.
  • Plant a garden together. Grow some good-for-you veggies and spend some quality time together. Plus digging in the dirt is a proven way to boost your immune system and relieve stress.
  • Cook or bake something together. This is an awesome way to work towards a common goal, sneak in a little math and enjoy a tasty creation in the end.
  • Now may be a great time to invest in a subscription like Kiwi Crate. They have a box for each age group that provides hours of hands on, STEM related learning.
  • If you stock up on anything, make it art supplies. Lots of drawing paper, good quality markers, paints, crayons, etc and then utilize Art Hub on YouTube. It’s free and so much fun, my kids draw for hours when I turn it on.
  • How about a good, old-fashioned read aloud? I like to curate a stack of books based on my kids’ current interests or the current season, but you don’t even have to get that crazy. Just grab a stack of books, sit down on the couch and start reading. I guarantee they will be gathered around you (and on top of you) in no time.
  • Now is the time to pull out all the puzzles, board games, card games, whatever you have. My kids love any puzzles by Ravensburger and Melissa & Doug has some great floor puzzles for younger ages. They love playing Memory, Trouble, Eye Found It Busytown Edition, Candyland, Tic Tac Toe and Battleship.
  • Also, don’t fear the screens. There is a time and a place to turn on the TV or the iPad. There are so many educational programs on YouTube, Netflix has the original Magic Schoolbus, Amazon has Word World. This might also be a good time to revisit all the old Disney movies and my kids love watching HGTV home shows with me as well as Beat Bobby Flay or any of the kids baking contests on Food Network.

A few other resources:

My good friend Jessica has a blog post titled “What To Do When Your Family is Stuck at Home” and she’s offering a free printable with ideas to keep the kiddos busy.

This blog post is full of great information + tips on what to do if you find yourself unexpectedly homeschooling.

One last section here, last but not least. I’m going to link up a bunch of resources for you to read on your own time full of ways you can care for yourself, mama.

Because if we’re not taking care of ourselves through all of this, we’re not going to be able to take care of our people. It starts with us.

Here are some of my top resources for self-care in this crazy season:

Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. Never fear! One breath, one step, one day at a time.

For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram. And if you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same. Also, check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Using Rhythms as a Powerful Tool for Self-care [A Simple How To Guide + Free Printable]

Rhythms not routines. I first started using that phrase when my daughter was a baby. It was my way of reminding myself that I could still establish constants in the midst of a chaotic and unpredictable season. Like Leonardo DiCaprios’ top in “Inception” – rhythms brought me back to reality and grounded me in the present. They still do. Because life will always be chaotic and unpredictable at times.

One of the biggest keys to transformative self-care is establishing rhythms that work for you.

I believe that establishing rhythms that work for you is so important, I’m going to turn it into a little series. This post will be more of a macro view of rhythms (the why and how). And then in subsequent posts, I will dive into the micro view and what they might look like on a daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal basis.

Sneak peek: one of our favorite weekly rhythms these days? When the big kiddos and I have tea time on Tuesdays. We’re working our way through the She Reads Truth Hebrews study for kids. We sip a warm drink, savor a treat and talk. It’s become a special part of our week.

More on that later. First, let’s talk about WHY rhythms are essential to self-care and HOW to create rhythms that work best for you. Hang with me because I also have a free printable for you.

The Why

The dictionary defines a rhythm as: “a strong, regular, repeated pattern of movement or sound.” For our purposes, rhythms are “a strong, regular, repeated pattern of…” #soulmindbodyselfcare. And self-care includes easing the demands of motherhood, the managing of our homes, the caring for ourselves and just life in general.

What I love about rhythms is that they provide a framework, but they’re not ridged or inflexible. I’m a planner who also doesn’t like to feel “stuck,” so rhythms are my happy place. Rhythms are powerful tools for self-care because they can ebb and flow, shift and change as needed. They are a flexible guide that provides structure without suffocating.

The How

Okay, rhythms are helpful and important, but how do you use them in a way that works for you? I’m going to share what our rhythms look like right now and then I’ll share a few steps you can take to establish your own. This is going to be a quick over-view because I plan to go into much more detail in subsequent posts. If you have any questions, drop them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer them!

Daily

I break up our days into five key rhythms:

  1. morning (warm lemon water/slow breakfast/warm drink)
  2. one load/one space (i.e. laundry + cleaning)
  3. learning (examples: morning basket/tea time/adventure)
  4. quiet time (usually 1:30-3:30pm)
  5. evening (examples: unwinding/skincare/brain dump)

These are the rhythms that work for us right now. We follow them even on the weekends, too, although a little more relaxed. But I’ve found that I can’t go two solid days without incorporating them in some way. And when I feel a little lost on a Sunday afternoon, I return to the rhythms. With in an hour, overwhelm is quelled and calm is restored.

Weekly

Our weekly rhythms look like:

  • Monday – morning basket
  • Tuesday – tea time
  • Wednesday – adventure
  • Thursday – art + read aloud
  • Friday – free
  • Saturday – solo time + mama date
  • Sunday – rest + prep for the week

These weekly rhythms really act as anchors for us. They hold me steady when I start to drift and wonder what the heck I’m doing with my life. Ha. The kids love having some thing to look forward to (tea time is the most talked about around here) and I appreciate the level of consistency these rhythms bring to our days.

Monthly

Because the mama is the heartbeat of the home, our months are heavily influenced by my cycle. They always have been, for better or worse, but this past year I’ve really started to embrace it for the wonderful thing it is. Each month is like a mini year with all four seasons and it really is amazing. I detail out what each season looks like below, but that’s essentially what our months look like, too: winter, spring, summer and autumn. I try to plan our month accordingly, knowing when I am higher energy and when I will need to slow way down.

Also, each month I try to make these 5 grounding actions priority, too:

1.) Two Fridays a month my husband and I have date night, whether we go out or stay in, it gives us a regular chance to catch up, go deeper than we’re able on a regular evening and do something fun together.

3.) I focus on refreshing one space on a budget. This month it was the kiddos bathroom and the half bath. I’m so excited with how they turned out. I do my best to use what we have and only bring in what we need.

4.) I do what I call an “office catch up” a couple times through out the month. This is when I will update the budget, go through any paper work, back up the pictures/videos from my phone, catch up our current photo album and our 1 Second Everyday.

5.) I review my goals for the month weekly, but a couple times a month I sit down to reevaluate and around the last week of the month, I’ll look ahead to the new month and set fresh goals.

Seasonal

Our seasonal rhythms tend to look like this:

Winter – Hibernate.
Rest, stay at home most days, move slow. Lots of reading + snuggles.
Practice restorative self-care: warm drinks, long baths, cozy layers, naps, hearty soups + stews, early bed times.

Spring – Ease out of our cocoon.
Decluttering the house/mind/schedule, planting the garden + spending hours outside each day. Practice reawakening self-care. Yoga outside, laying in the sun, mornings on the front porch, weekly hikes, fresh + simple foods.

Summer – We’re alive! Park dates and hiking/river/day trip/camping adventures. Practice energetic self-care. Soak up all the sun, join the kiddos in the water, quiet times spent laying out + reading, lots of time in nature, evenings on the back porch until the sun sets.

Autumn – Slow down. Reflect + re-set intentions. Tune in, savor, draw in. Decluttering the house/mind/schedule. Practice preparatory self-care. Embrace home, warm drinks, let go, stock up on self-care essentials, get to bed earlier.

Grab my Rhythms Guide here. The first page is a copy of our current rhythms to use as a guide, the second page is a step by step guide to creating rhythms that work for you and the third page is a template you can use to record your own rhythms.

These are rhythms that work for us at this time. They’re an example of how rhythms look when you use them as a tool for self-care. And that’s the thing – you have to establish rhythms that work for you, right where you are. NOT ones that work for your friend or your sister or your mother or anyone else. Not ones that will last forever and ever and never need to change. That’s missing the point.

What works for someone else might not work for you. And what works for you now might not work next month or even next week.

So, how do you establish rhythms that work for you, right now, today? Let’s dive in…

How to Create Your Own Rhythms

  1. Print The Rhythms Guide (these steps are included in the guide). Then grab a notebook and a pen and write down what your ideal day would look like. Don’t over think it. Dream big here. Do list-style, bullet journal-style, any-style. Just get it down on paper.
  2. Repeat step one for your ideal week, month and all four of the seasons. Don’t write down what you think it “should” look like or what it looks like now. Write down what you want it to look like – your ideals, your vision, your dream list, the way they would go if it was your choice.
  3. Step back, review everything you wrote down under each section and realize this, mama: it is your choice. Ultimately, it doesn’t just have to be an ideal or a vision or some far-off dream. What you do, how you spend your days, weeks, months, seasons is YOUR choice. You get to decide. It’s your life.
  4. Add, take-away, scratch out, re-write, get each list where you want it to be for right now. Because things will ebb and flow. They will shift and change. Don’t worry about then, just focus on right now.
  5. Use the third page of The Rhythms Guide to fill in your rhythms. Put it somewhere you will see it every day. Maybe tape it to the inside of a cabinet in your kitchen? Put it by your bedside so you see it first thing in the morning? Review it often, refer to it when you start to feel overwhelmed or off-kilter.
  6. Give the rhythms a week or two, see how they work for you. Tweak and shift where you need to. And don’t be afraid to swap days of the week or move things around as you need. Flow with them, let them show you what needs to come or go.
  7. Repeat these steps as necessary. At the new year, beginning of a new season, after a major transition (i.e. a move, a new baby, etc), on a random Wednesday in November when you realize the current rhythms just aren’t working anymore. Save The Rhythms Guide to re-print whenever you need it.

What do you think, mama? Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be sure to answer them.

And don’t forget to download The Rhythms Guide…

I’m over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Self-Care is a Social Media Detox [A Candid Conversation About Why + a Few Tips on How]

Last week I wrote a post on 10 Ways to Care for Your Mind. As number one, I suggested doing a social media detox. Easier said than done, I know. And what exactly does that look like? I’m going to #smbsfreestyle this post, so it’s going to read more casual, as if we’re having a face-to-face conversation. I’m going to share why I regularly detox from social media and a few tips for how. It may not be exactly how you want to go about it, but I’m just going to put my two cents out there and you can use it in parts or none at all.

There is an invisible tether between our brains and social media. A magnetic pull in moments of boredom, moments of waiting, moments of overwhelm…all kind of moments. Even the beautiful ones, the precious ones that we should probably just hold close to our hearts instead of broadcasting to the world.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always manage my relationship with social media well. I’m human and I struggle, too. With the silence, the gap, the desire to check out, the need for validation, looking for connection in a screen instead of my loved ones standing in front of me.

Here is my “why”: I can see a direct correlation between my well-being on every level and how much time I’m spending on social media.

If you asked me: “So, HOW do you do a social media detox? What does it look like?”

First, I’d tell you, there’s no right or wrong way. Second, I’d share a few tips I’ve picked up along the way…

Tip #1:

Delete the app(s). If I need a hard reset (which I do often), I delete the app(s). Usually every weekend. But then I take longer sabbaticals every quarter or so, for at least two weeks, sometimes longer.

I use that time to put my phone away and focus solely on what’s in front of me at the moment. I spend a lot of un-distracted time with my people, a lot of time reading, maybe watching some shows, listening to podcasts and writing. I seem to get huge amounts of inspiration and light bulb moments when I’m off social media. Go figure. Fresh ideas mean lots of note taking, journaling, thinking. I also spend time connecting with friends in real life as much as possible and via text or email.

I highly recommend the hard resets (just like our computer or our phone needs to reboot) even if it’s just for one day a week or the weekend or one weekend a month. You decide. It’s a great breather, allows the mind to clear, the thoughts to settle, everything really to just REST. There’s something about knowing the app isn’t even on my phone that frees me from the constant pressure to absorb information, create content, respond to every notification…

But here’s the thing, you don’t have to be doing a hard reset in order to detox from social media. Just like our bodies are always detoxing by default, it makes the most sense for us to be detoxing daily from social media even while we’re using it – especially while we’re using it – and not just waiting for those times we delete the app(s). We need to be supporting ourselves by limiting the “toxins” we come in contact with and making sure all those detox pathways are open.

Which leads me to…

Tip #2:

Turn off notifications. Do you really need to know the second someone likes your post? Nope. In fact, you can even take this a step further and turn off all your phone notifications. Quiet the mental chatter a little. The only time my phone makes a sound (unless I choose to turn my ringer on) is when my husband texts or calls. He gets the special bypass because he’s my priority. Plus the sound of his texts and calls make my heart flutter instead of my adrenaline rush. Amen?

Tip #3:

Choose your social media platform(s) wisely. I am only on one social media platform because I know that’s all that I can handle. Years ago I quit Facebook. I tried Twitter and couldn’t figure out the point. Instagram stuck because I love photography and I’m a visual person. Now TikTok is the rage and I’m just sitting over here watching like I guess this is what it feels like to be old, because I don’t get it.

Anyways, I think a lot of that has to do with me. I get overwhelmed by input very easily. Paralyzed would actually be a better word. Ha. Even just being on one platform, I think about getting off multiple times a week. Just being honest. The only thing that makes me stay… well, two things really: 1.) I believe it is an amazing tool to share my message of self-care and 2.) I’ve made some genuine connections that I would miss.

So, honestly evaluate why you’re on the platforms you’re on. Make sure they are adding more than they’re subtracting from your life. Have clear reasons why you’re staying if you choose to stay.

Tip #4

Set clear boundaries when you’re in the app(s). I only post and story on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I communicate this to my followers so they know my rhythms and what to expect. It also helps me stay accountable to my boundaries. I might hop on to answer DM’s or comments, but I don’t actively “do” social media the other days.

Even still, I am no stranger to the scroll. Some days are hard and long and I’m tired and my brain is mush and somehow scrolling seems easier than being present right where I am. Which sounds so silly as I type that out. I always feel like crap afterwards, never better. There’s never a time when I’ve escaped to the scroll and afterwards been like “Whoohoo! I’m ready to take on life again, I’ve got so much energy now!” Nope. Not once. So, quit the escapism scroll, Hannah. Just quit it.

Caution: mini tangent rant ahead. The Explore tab is my nemesis. I always feel so weird scrolling through peoples’ faces, peoples’ lives when I can’t possibly know or care or connect with more than a tiny handful of them. So, the question I always come away with is: why? I mean, I understand why the Explore tab is there, but why should I scroll through it? I can’t think of a single good reason.

Tip #5

Be very selective about who you follow. I follow very few people for the simple fact that there’s only so much information I can take in on any given day. Also, I am very sensitive to outside stimuli, so I curate my feed to be upbeat, truth-filled, real. I routinely purge who I follow. It’s just how I do because life is too short and, really, it’s just an app.

Let’s all repeat that together: It’s JuSt a FreaKin’ ApP! Puts everything into perspective, right?

Anything else to add, mama? Let me know in the comments.

This post is part of the #smbsfreestyle series. Where I write a stream of consciousness type post once a month. Less structured and more journal entry feel. The topic(s) will be something from my heart about everything from motherhood to self-care (of course) to health + wellness and beyond. More like a relaxed conversation between friends and less like a “how to” lecture with bullet points.

I’m over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

A Soul Mind Body Selfcare Reset [For When You Need A Fresh Start Caring for Yourself]

Sometimes you just need a fresh start. A reboot. A reset. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or complicated. It doesn’t have to take time or money you don’t have.

It just needs to be something simple, straightforward and practical.

I was sick with the flu, my head was killing me, I had a fever, and was too weak to do anything but lay on the couch when I wrote the outline for this reset. I tapped it out in the notes app on my phone. Because I knew when I felt well enough, I was going to need a fresh start. A jump start.

Maybe you do, too, mama?

I’ve written the reset with a 2-week time frame in mind, but you can adapt it to be longer or shorter to suit your needs. Whatever you choose, the intention of it will bring so many benefits.

The reset touches on the three main areas of self-care – our souls, our minds and our bodies. For each area, we’ll be concentrating on two specific action steps. The final part is a list of ways we can choose to layer on some more intense self-care. Go a little further, a little deeper.

Whether you just got over the flu, you just got back from a trip, you just got through the holidays or it’s a random day in the middle of August and you simply have a desire for a fresh start, here it is. You can use it any time of the year for any reason.

I hope it helps you care for yourself, mama.

Hannah

PS Get my new guide A Soul Mind Body Selfcare Reset for free —> HERE.

My Sunshine Smoothie Recipe [For When You Need a Mood + Immune Boost]

This smoothie just makes me happy. If that’s not reason enough for you to try it, there’s also this: it’s packed with mood + immune boosting goodness. From the veggies (which you can’t taste!) to the anti-inflammatory + antioxidant-rich turmeric, to all the Vitamin C in the fruit, to the Vitamin D3/K2 and adaptogen blend (if you choose to add them in), this smoothie is a powerhouse.

Let’s jump right in…

Add to a high-powered blender…

  • 1/2 cup spinach (if you want a deeper yellow/orange color, leave this out + up the cauliflower)
  • 1/2 cup cauliflower (steamed, roasted or riced; raw will give a stronger flavor)
  • 1 carrot (cut into chunks)
  • 1/2 banana (optional for extra sweetness + creaminess)
  • 1 orange (peeled, quartered, de-seeded)
  • 1 cup tropical fruit of your choice (I love a mix of mango/strawberry/pineapple/peaches I get from Costco)
  • 1 inch fresh turmeric (peeled)
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil
  • A pinch of fresh ground black pepper (activates the curcumin in the turmeric)
  • 3-4 cups filtered water

Then try these add-ins…

Blend everything until smooth, pour into a glass + enjoy! This makes enough for two 16oz servings. I like to drink one and save some for an afternoon pick-me-up or easy breakfast.

Do you love this recipe and want a couple more to add to your smoothie rotation? Try my Delicious Chocolate Cherry Green Smoothie or my Beet-licious Smoothie. They are both on heavy rotation over here.

If you’re new here and not sure where to start, how about reading my self-care story and then jumping on my email list by grabbing My Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide for FREE. I promise I’ll never spam you, mama. My heart is to help you care for yourself.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Practical Self-Care Tips for When You’re Sick

This year we drove cross-country to be with my family for Christmas. Thirty hours one way with the three kiddos, but it went so much better than we thought it would. The kiddos did great, the roads were clear and we made it.

Fast forward to the day after Christmas. My daughter came down with the flu. After that, we all fell like dominoes. Thankfully staggered, but still. Phew. I’ve been super sick in the past, but I’ve never had the flu like that. It truly laid me out. Migraines, chills, fever, fatigue, loss of appetite, stomach trouble, skin rashes, body aches… the whole shebang.

When life knocks you down the ladder to simple survival, it has a way of testing your routines, your self-care rituals, your tried-and-trues. What’s left is what is truly important, what really works.

You don’t have to be fighting the flu to implement the tips I’m going to share. Perhaps you’re feeling a cold coming on or you just feel extra run down. Pin this post and save it for later. Save the link to a note on your phone. Email it to yourself. Share it with a friend who is sick. Whatever works.

Let’s dive in…

Rest.

WHY I know resting can be the hardest part of recovery. It is for me. But resting is not laziness. So much healing happens in your body when you allow it to rest. So, give yourself permission to “fall behind.” Strip everything down to the bare bones. Put all the non-essentials on hold and let yourself rest. This is self-care.

HOW What are some specific ways you can rest when your sick? The answer to that question can vary person to person. But here are a few suggestions to get you started:

  • nap whenever you can
  • lay on the couch for large portions of the day
  • go to bed early + don’t set an alarm
  • stay off your phone and let your mind rest

Outsource.

WHY Because you can’t do it all. Especially when you’re sick. Remember, mama: you’re human. It’s okay to have needs, to ask for help, and to accept help from others.

HOW Once you’ve stripped everything down to the bare basics, see if you can outsource even some of those things. Here are a few examples:

  • Order your groceries online and have them delivered.
  • Order all other necessities from places like Amazon or Walmart and have them delivered.
  • If you don’t have delivery available in your area, ask your spouse to pick them up or ask a friend to drop them off.
  • If you’ve ever used a meal delivery service, now would be the perfect time.
  • Accept any and all help that is offered.

Hydrate.

WHY Staying hydrated is super important in general, but especially when you’re sick. If you have a fever and you’re sweating a lot or you soak in a bath or perhaps you’re throwing up, then you’ll want to make sure you’re staying hydrated so your body can fight off illness.

HOW This is also easier said than done. I know I didn’t have much of an appetite when I had the flu and everything tasted bland. Water was hard to drink like I normally do. So, I added a splash of 100% pomegranate juice to my water, I drank bone broth with a sprinkle of salt and lots of herbal teas. Aim to drink half your body weight in ounces of water, more if you’re running a fever.

Check out this video for more tips on staying hydrated.

Move.

WHY Depending on how sick you are (there were several days with the flu when I could barely get up off the couch), this might be something you save for later in recovery. But slow, gentle movement can help your body release stiffness, boost your mood, and encourage lymphatic drainage.

HOW Here are a few different ways I moved while I was sick:

Soak.

WHY Speaking of stiffness and lymphatic drainage, a detox bath will aid those as well. It will also help ease body aches, increase circulation, and promote relaxation. Epsom salts contain magnesium which is quickly depleted when our bodies are under stress (ie sick). Our bodies need magnesium for so many reasons, including helping our muscles relax and promoting restful sleep.

HOW Whether I’m sick or not, I love to soak in a detox bath a couple times a week. Check out this post for my favorite detox bath recipe and tips.

Eat.

WHY It’s so important to be supporting our bodies while they fight off illness. We don’t want to burden them any more than they already are. If you have an appetite, food is one of the best ways you can get nutrients needed to heal.

HOW If you have an appetite, focus on eating warming, whole foods that support your body with nutrients needed for the healing process. Think: room temperature, veggie-heavy smoothies, bone broth, soups, roasted veggies, and lots of good fats. Listen to your body. If you don’t have an appetite, try simply sipping on a mug of warm broth. Note: processed foods, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, conventional diary and gluten are all hard on our bodies, even on our best days. Try to steer clear of those while you’re body is recovering.

Here are some of my favorite healing meal ideas:

  • Veggie lentil stew made with bone broth
  • Chicken thighs, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts or green beans roasted on a sheet pan
  • Chicken soup made with bone broth
  • Sauteed kale or Swiss chard, garlic, onion, any protein you’d like, served over polenta
  • This smoothie or this smoothie on repeat.

Outside.

WHY Sunshine and fresh air are both helpful when we’re trying to heal. Sunshine can boost Vitamin D levels (which boosts our immune systems) and fresh air can clear out our lungs and deliver much needed oxygen to our cells.

HOW If you can’t make it outside or it’s too cold, try to find a sun spot or west facing window to sit in. Otherwise, take a mug of something warm (if it’s chilly) or top off your glass of water (if it’s warm) and sit outside in the sun. Lay out if you can, exposing as much skin to the sunshine as you can. And don’t wear sunglasses! One of the big ways our bodies synthesize Vitamin D is through our eyes. If you have the energy, go for a slow walk around your yard.

Supplement.

WHY While the tips we’ve previously discussed will always take precedence over supplementing, a high quality supplement has it’s place.

HOW Here are some of my favorites to use when I’m sick:

Plan.

WHY Sometimes just having something fun to look forward to is enough to boost our spirits and tune our minds to recovery.

HOW I scheduled a hair appointment for when I started to feel better. It was so relaxing and rejuvenating. Here are a few more ideas:

  • Meet a girlfriend for lunch and a pedicure.
  • Go to a tanning salon. Seriously.
  • Get a massage.
  • Plan a day trip to somewhere new (or maybe an old favorite).
  • Plan that summer vacation or your winter getaway.

Listen.

WHY When we are in the habit of listening to our bodies, we can sense intuitively what they need most in order to heal. Being mindful can speed our recovery and give us powerful insight.

HOW Do a body scan and take note of how you feel. Now answer these questions: where do I need the most support? What can wait? What is working? What isn’t? Now you have some powerful information to use as you move forward in the healing process and beyond.

Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. Never fear! One breath, one step, one day at a time.

For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram. And if you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same. Check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view all the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

Self-care is Setting Boundaries [Why We Need Them + How To Set Them]

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This coming weekend just got really busy all of the sudden… I texted a friend. Can we reschedule for next weekend?

There was a time, not too many years ago, when I never would have dreamed of cancelling on a friend. Or anybody for that matter. I never wanted to let anyone down, never wanted to disappoint anyone, never wanted to say no. I would quip that I must have a sign hung around my neck that said, “Please, take advantage of me.” I was always going, didn’t know how to rest, wouldn’t heed my body’s signals that it needed care.

But that was then. What bridged the gap? Learning how to set boundaries. A couple years into my self-care journey I hit a wall. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t going to get very far unless I learned how to set healthy boundaries.

Because self-care isn’t just warm drinks, detox baths, hydrating and brain dumps. It’s not just about getting a nap or time alone or taking five minutes to put on make up. It is all those things and so much more. It’s also the hard stuff, the heavy stuff. Like learning how to set healthy boundaries.

Setting boundaries is key to practicing self-care. If we don’t set healthy boundaries all our efforts at self-care will fail.

But why? Here are just a few reasons we need to set boundaries:

  • Setting healthy boundaries checks our pride. We are not superhuman with limitless amounts of time, energy or resources. Let’s not fool ourselves into acting like we are.
  • Setting healthy boundaries informs others of our limits. Some people don’t know + some people don’t care. Either way, it’s not fair to them or to us not to be clear about our limits.
  • Setting healthy boundaries ensures we have what we need for the things + the people who matter most. It ensures we’re not wasting precious time, energy or resources on the unimportant stuff.
  • Setting healthy boundaries keeps us safe. When we don’t have boundaries, anything goes. And anyone goes. We need protection from our own human nature and others who might take advantage of us.

But how? Here are some practical steps to setting boundaries:

1.) Identify a problem area in your life. Something that is wearing on you, draining you, perhaps even causing you anxiety and/or affecting your physical health.

Example: You can’t seem to put your phone down. Sounds and badges and notifications are constantly calling for your attention. You get a lot of texts and a lot of emails. You’re constantly checking + rechecking your phone. You’re always trying to answer a text, read an email or respond to someone on social media. You’re always distracted, trying to be in two places at once. You have a mental buzz that never really goes away.

2.) Identify your limits in that area.

Example: I don’t have endless amounts of time to respond to texts, emails and notifications. I can only be in one place at a time. I have about two hours per day I’m able and willing to give. I’ll handle the most important and leave the rest.

3.) Set healthy boundaries based on those limits.

Example: I’m going to answer emails + texts for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in evening, that’s all the time I have. I’m going to turn off all notifications except for texts from my spouse, everyone else can wait. I will check social media for an hour in the evenings when I’m not distracted.

Here are some more examples of how you might set healthy boundaries:

  • You cut ties with anyone who doesn’t lift you up. Starting with face to face relationships down to the people you follow on social media. You are kind but unapologetic. If you need to, you have the hard conversations.
  • You say no to any extra-curricular activities that don’t fill your cup. You are ruthless. You only get 24 hours in a day and every day is a gift.
  • You keep to firm wake times, quiet time/nap times and bed times for your kiddos. You find this to be a game changer because you need space at those times each day to care for yourself so that you can be a better mom.
  • You create and follow a budget each month. Especially during the holidays. You realize that managing your finances is self-care, too.

Does this resonate with you, mama? Have any questions? Please leave me a comment or send me an email. I’m here.

This post is part of our #smbselfcareis series. To read more posts in this series, go here.

I’m also over on Instagram and, if you haven’t signed up for my email list, I’m there, too. If you sign up, I’m giving you my Healthy + Healing Warm Drink Guide FREE.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah

5 Ways To Care For Yourself During the Holidays

Mama, of all the seasons of the year where you should feel happy, light, peaceful and rested…it should be the holiday season. Our society has manufactured the idea of hustle + bustle, has told us it’s what true holiday spirit looks like, that our kids will grow up hating us and have to go to therapy if we don’t “do Santa” or bake 6 different kinds of cookies or wear ourselves out trying to find the perfect gifts. That’s just not true.

This should be a season of tuning in to the beauty right in front of us. A season of caring for ourselves and our dear ones and extending kindness to those in need. A season of soaking up the simple moments which usually end up being the most profound. This should be a season of making memories: of home, a crackling fire, Christmas stories read aloud, Bing Crosby serenading, and the story of Jesus’ birth lighting the way once again into a brand new year.

Perhaps even more so in 2020 than any other year before: We need peace, we need simplicity, we need quieted hearts, we need rest. We’ve already told our kiddos that this Christmas is going to be a simple, quiet one. No big to-do’s, no crazy happenings, just us – family – soaking up the beauty of the season. We’ve even called a toy moratorium. Except for a few things they need, a few books and learning resources, we’re not expending a lot of time or money on gift giving this year. The season itself and the depth of what it really means – Jesus, Emmanuel, Come to Live Among Us – is what we want to shine out above all else. And, you know what? They complained briefly the first time we mentioned our plan. The next time, not a peep. I think they were starting to understand. We keep repeating our plan periodically and I think I even spotted a bit of relief in their faces this last time. I know I feel relief.

Remember, mama, we have a choice. We have a lot more control over how the holiday season plays out (and our lives) then we often like to admit. Also, there’s this: true self-care – the kind that is consistent, tangible and life-changing – doesn’t have to cost any money or require large chunks of time. It doesn’t even mean you have to leave your house.

Let’s dive into my top 5 tips for caring for yourself this holiday season…

No.1 Get your sleep.

Sleep changes everything. Any mama knows this is true. It has to be a non-negotiable. Our bodies need 7.5-9 solid hours of sleep every night. On days we’re super active, we might even need a 20-30 minute nap mid-afternoon. Listen to your body. Follow it’s lead. Whatever needs to happen for you to get rest, make it happen.

  • Set a firm bed time + wake time for the kiddos (they need their rest, too!).
  • Work together with your husband to make sure you’re both supporting each other in getting rest.
  • Aim to be in bed a full hour earlier than you want to go to sleep. Read, relax, do a brain dump, unwind and turn out those lights on time.
  • Limit caffeine after noon and don’t drink alcohol or eat a heavy meal right before bed.
  • Use black out blinds or an eye mask to block out light.
  • Keep your bedroom cool for sleeping.
  • Use white noise or ear plugs to make sure you’re not disturbed (especially if you go to bed before your husband).

A note to mamas with young babies: The first two years with each kiddo can totally be rough, I get it completely. If it helps, don’t look at the quantity of sleep as much as the quality of sleep in those seasons. Work to optimize the sleep you do get. Example: if you can get your longer stretch of sleep each night from 10-2am that’s when our bodies do a majority of the detoxing/restoring/resetting and that will definitely optimize your sleep.

Also, check out Taking Cara Babies if you haven’t already. I’m not getting paid to share about her, but I would pay any amount of money to sleep well in the early months [years!] with my babies. Cara also has so much good information on her blog and IG page for free. Check her out! I’m taking her First Five Months course in preparation for our fourth baby’s arrival.

No.2 Make a daily #soulmindbodyselfcare appointment with yourself.

This means every single day you’re going to spend at least 10 minutes caring for your soul, mind or body. Put it on your calendar, set a reminder, make it happen. If you can give more time, then set aside more time. Go, mama! If you need to spread out the time in smaller chunks over the course of the day, then do that. Whatever works best with your schedule, whatever best meets your needs.

Here are some ideas for your time each day:

  • Take a detox bath.
  • Make a warm drink + sip it slowly (get my favorite recipes HERE).
  • Spend some time goal setting + intention setting for the new year.
  • Paint your nails.
  • Move your body – yoga, pilates, HIIT, go for a walk.
  • Do a brain dump.
  • Work on a passion project.
  • Declutter one space in your home.
  • Hydrate with a tall glass of water.

No.3 Drink a daily green smoothie.

There’s bound to be more sugar floating around during the holiday season. And it’s sometimes difficult to control what you eat and where due to family gatherings and holiday events. But if you start the day out right with a green smoothie (or even sub it for lunch or your afternoon pick-me-up), your body will thank you.

I swear by a daily green smoothie to keep illness at bay. This Chocolate Cherry Smoothie recipe is one of my favorites and this Beet-licious Smoothie is another on rotation over here. If neither of those strike a cord, maybe give my Sunshine Smoothie a try. It’s packed full of nutrients that will give your mind, body (and immune system!) a boost.

For more on winter wellness, check out my blog post and podcast episode all about why/how/what I stock to support our immune systems through the colder months.

No.4 Carve out quiet time before the day begins.

I know this is easier said than done, but it’s a lifesaver. Even just having 10 minutes to myself, to start the day on my own terms, makes a huge difference in how the rest of the day goes.

This is my typical morning routine right now:

I wake up around 7am, I do my tongue scraping/teeth brushing, splash cold water on my face and use the restroom. Then I apply my favorite face oil or serum (right now it’s this one – bonus: it smells like Christmas) and hop back in bed to do my gua sha routine (if you don’t know what gua sha is, here’s a great tutorial).

Then I dive into my quiet time. Right now I’m reading through the Psalms using a journal Bible. Then I pray through my list of what I call “affirmational prayers” – statements of faith in prayer form. Then I’ll look over my to-do list for the day, check email quickly, reply to any texts and then throw on my slippers and a cozy sweater and make my way out to the kitchen to start the day.

All of that might take me 20 minutes, but I am much more ready to jump into the fray when I’ve had some peaceful moments to myself first. I have a lot more patience and joy and our day just flows better.

Side note for mamas who have early wakers like I do: Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. My kids are in their room until 7:30am. They can use the restroom and they have their waters, but they are in their room with the door closed until it’s time to begin our day together. This is the boundary I’ve set and it works well for us. Do what works best for you, mama, but set those boundaries.

No.5 Say NO to anything that does not light you up.

Let’s make this tip specific to Christmas, although it can be applied to any holiday, birthdays or really any time of year. I love to send our annual Christmas card. It’s my thing. And because I love to send it, it’s fun to create, not a burden. I love having special Christmas mugs for each kid and making hot cocoa with marshmallows every chance we get. I love taking the kids to Hobby Lobby to pick out an ornament each year. I love observing a simple advent. I love making + decorating sugar cookies with the kiddos; we usually do that 2-3 times during the season. I love minimalist decor that melds with the color pallet of our home, that I can keep up through winter season (it’s such a downer to strip the house bare come January 1st).

What I don’t love? Time consuming crafts. Elaborate advent calendars. Lots of decorating that I have to take down/put away/store. Intricate traditions that depend on several different variables to be just right. Intense baking. Going anywhere crowded. Being out late. Being out. Period. Ha. So I don’t. I just say no. In fact, like I said at the beginning of this post, we don’t have anything currently planned for the month of December.

Choose the things you love, that light you up and and leave the rest. Never apologize if your style of savoring the season looks more like staying home in your cozy slippers and reading Christmas books to your kids by the fire. I promise your kids won’t care. All they want is a happy mama, a mama who is caring for herself.

Have any questions for me? Leave them in the comments and I’ll be happy to answer! You’ve got this, mama. Never fear! One breath, one step, one day at a time.

For more self-care goodness, come join me on Instagram and find the companion podcast episode for this post HERE. And if you haven’t joined my email list yet, that’s a great place to find more of the same.

Check out the side bar (or scroll all the way down if you’re on mobile) to view the freebies I’ve created just with you in mind. I hope you find something helpful.

Let’s care for ourselves,

Hannah